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In Other Words

You would read how Mr. Vanderbilt and others had been robbed;
You would read or skip some speeches at a dinner;
You would see a Gothic headline saying: “Pretty Woman Mobbed,”
And you’d read a few critiques of Otis Skinner.

You would read about the blow-up in the tunnel yesternoon;
You would read—oh, yes you would—the ice inquiry;
You would read about the chap who lived a week in a balloon,
And you’d find that every theme was uninspiry.

Oh, you’d worry like the mischief on your foolish daily pome,
For you’d want to do it prettily and nicely,
And after doing all of this you’d hit the breeze for home.
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And that’s the way that I should do, precisely.

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