CHAPTER 20
My dear Gay;
"I have just hung up the phone, and after hearing your voice again, maybe for the last time, I feel morbid and sad. It was so good to hear you again and I know I talked too long, but I just couldn't hang up. You were probably busy packing for your return trip to Cotton even tho you said you had nothing to do.
"Now that I've hung up the receiver, I feel like crying. Yes, just plain bawling. Already tears are hard to keep off this paper before me. My hand is shaking and you'll probably have a hard time reading this letter. Here I am a grown man, supposed to be, crying like a baby. I don't know why. Yes, I do too. I'm afraid I won't see you again. Right now, while I'm writing I'm tempted to call you, to tell you that I already miss you. Just to know that all I have to do is dial your hotel and I'll hear your voice again is too much. Forgive me, Gay, but I must talk to you again. I can't even think. Words don't seem to come to this troubled and mixed brain that I'm supposed to have in my stupid head. I must call you. I will.
"Now that I've talked to you again, I feel better. Or do I? Thanks for saying you'll miss me, for I'll miss you in so many ways. I know it's sudden to say such things, but life is sudden, short. Things happen so quickly maybe one should say the things he wants to instead of keeping them inside. You must know how I feel.
"Saturday night was wonderful and I hope that all my talking didn't scare you. Sunday was wonderful too. I'm glad that I was able to show you and your parents the town. So glad it was me, not someone else.
"I guess by now you've left the hotel. Remember, you told me
