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not find her, as I did not know her name, her family, or her dwelling- place; and so roaming about, with a void in my heart, like a Vidyádhara that has lost his magic power, I with difficulty tottered into my teacher's house. There I remained like one in a faint or asleep, remembering the joy of embracing my beloved, and anxious lest her love might fail.*[1] And in course of time reflection lulled me in her lap, as if affected with the compassion natural to noble women, and shewed me a glimpse of hope, and soul- paining ignorance hugged my heart, and an exceedingly severe headache took
possession of my brain. †[2] In the meanwhile the day slipped away and my self-command with it, and the lotus-thicket folded its cups and my face was contracted with them, and the couples of Brahmany ducks were dispersed with my hopes, the sun having gone to rest.
Then the moon, the chief friend of Love, that gladdens the eyes of the happy, rose up, adorning the face of the east; its rays, though ambrosial, seemed to me like fiery fingers, and though it lit up the quarters of the sky, it closed in me all hope of life. Then one of my fellow-students, seeing that in my misery I had flung my body into moonlight as into a fire, and was longing for death, said to me, " Why are you in this evil case? You do not appear to have any disease; but, if you have mental affliction caused by longing for wealth or by love, I will tell you the truth about those objects; listen to me. The wealth, which through over-covetousness men desire to gain by cheating their neighbours, or by robbing them, does not remain. The poison-trees: ‡[3] of wealth, which are rooted in wickedness and bring forth an abundant crop of wickedness, are soon broken by the weight of their own fruit. All that is gained by that wealth in this world, is the toil of acquiring it and other annoyances, and in the next world great suffering in hell, a suffering that shall continue as long as the moon and stars endure. As for love, that love which fails of attaining its object brings disappointment that puts an end to life, and unlawful love, though pleasing in the mouth, is simply the forerunner of the fire of hell §[4]
- ↑ * I have followed Brockhaus's text, which is supported by MS. No 3003. The other two read talpremabhuyasotkampam.
- ↑ † The words denoting " reflection " " headache" and ' ignorance" are feminine in Sanskrit and so the things denoted by them have feminine qualities attributed to them. Ignorance means perhaps "the having no news of the beloved." All the India Office MSS. read vŗiddhayá for vrittayá.
- ↑ ‡ Here the reading of MS. No. 1882 is Pápamúlá yatah pápaphalabháram prasúyate Tatkshanenaiva bhajyante śíghramdhanavishadrumáh No 3003 reads práptamulá, taábharenaiva, and bhujyante. No. 2166 agrees with No. 1882 in the main, but substitutes tana for dhana. I have followed No. 1882, adopting tadbharenaiva from No. 3003.
- ↑ § I read yaś chádharmyo 'gradútah. MS. No. 1882 read yaś chádhamyo; No. 3003 reads yaś chádharmo and No. 2166 reads as I propose.
