Page:Lancashire Legends, Traditions, Pageants, Sports, Etc., with an Appendix Containing a Rare Tract.djvu/147

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Fool.—You'll be wondrous cunning if you get any (aside).
Well, how far have you travelled in doctorship?
 
Doctor.— From Italy, Titaly [Sicily], High Germany,
France, and Spain,
And now am returned to cure diseases in Old England again.
 
Fool.—So far, and no further?

Doctor.—O yes! a great deal further.

Fool.—How far?
 
Doctor.—From the fireside cupboard up-stairs and into bed.
 
Fool.—What diseases can you cure?
 
Doctor.—All sorts.
 
Fool.—What's all sorts?
 
Doctor.—The itch, the pitch, the palsy, and the gout, If a man gets nineteen devils in his skull, I'll cast twenty of them out.
I have in my pockets crutches for lame ducks, spectacles for blind humble-bees, packsaddles and panniers for grasshoppers, and plaisters for broken-backed mice. I cured Sir Harry of a hang-nail, almost fifty yards long; surely I can cure this poor man.
Here, Jack; take a little out of my bottle,
And let it run down thy throttle;
If thou be not quite slain.
Rise, Jack, and fight again. (Slasher rises.)

Slasher.—O my back!

Fool.—What's amiss with thy back?

Slasher.—My back it is wounded,
And my heart is confounded,
To be struck out of seven senses into fourscore,
The like was never seen in old England before!