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84

So hard on one another's heels
The blithe examinations troop,
That soon the young enthusiast feels
Like flowers do that droop, and droop—
And then a tempest of despair
Sweeps over him: his only care
Is now to find some brilliant, rare,
And quite unprecedented blunders,
To clear the dull scholastic air,
And startle Academic thunders.

Then comes the melancholy, vain,
And hopeless struggle to regain
His old unsullied reputation:
Abortive efforts to attain
Impossible regeneration:
And, when the last collapse is plain,
No earthly solace doth remain,
Except to launch an imprecation
That only is not quite profane
Against the author of his pain,
Who brings all evils in his train,
The friend of sloth, ambition's bane,
The master fiend, Examination.

Eton Rambler, May 18th, 1880.