Page:Letters on the condition of the African race in the United States.djvu/25

from labor, and freedom to indulge their criminal passions? But, my brother, a truce to these reflections on the strange medley of inconsistent passions, and yet, at times, godlike aims, that convulse and govern the human heart. "A worm, a God, I tremble at myself, and in myself am lost." "When I first realized inductive powers of mind, in very early youth, I lived clay and night in a sort of delirium of blissful reflection on the lofty dignity, the perfection that the human mind had lost in Adam, but had now regained by the atonement of Christ—and I said to myself, "if all things are possible to him that believeth," why cannot every believer attain to that faith which will enable him to keep the holy law of God always (even as Christ did in his human nature); and thus be exalted above all the ignorance, foolishness, and degraded passions that sin first generated in our hearts and minds. I studied the character of Jesus Christ, as it was developed by his conduct while he was on earth, until I became transported with its sublime wisdom and beauty, and I felt every earthly ambition mean, in comparison with the exalted moral aspiration of being like Christ. I determined, at once, to crush all selfishness in motive or act; all foolish pride and passion, and all ambition that did not centre in this highest moral attainment. Yes, I determined to "rule my own spirit" with a rod of iron, until it obeyed my newly formed appreciation of what was really noble and true. The fierce struggles of an untamed will, that was every moment to be watched and dethroned by its high toned moral adversary, were such as God only can know and reward. I watched every thought, every motive, every act of my life, to see if they reflected the mind of Christ. I studied the Bible, night and day, with a relish I never realized from studying any other book; because I knew it was all truth, and, moreover, addressed to every individual believer, who had a personal right to claim every promise contained in it. The idea of holding communion with the God of heaven; of having the approving sympathy of Jesus Christ in all our aims, even while we are on earth, made me feel as if a Christian occupied a higher position than any king in this world. My enthusiasm became deeper, the more I contemplated the moral exaltation that the death of Christ had purchased for our once fallen natures. I determined to test how far an appropriation of the promises of God to his people, in reference to holiness, could be attained in this world; as St. Paul's description of perfect charity in the l3th chapter of 1st Corinthians embraces in its details traits of endurance that are surely necessary for us only in this world, as no one will need them in