is, that I often converse better than I can compose; and hence too it is, that a collection of my letters written before my mind was so much oppressed would, in the opinion of all who have ever seen any number of them, be thrice the value of my set publications. Take as a specimen 's Letters, which never received a single correction, or that letter addressed to myself as from a friend, at the close of the first volume of the Literary Life, which was written without taking my pen off the paper except to dip it in the inkstand. You will feel how much more ease and felicity there are in these, compared with the more elaborate pages of the Sermon, etc.
"In short, Life is too short, the pangs which self-dissatisfaction inflicts too poignant, and the commands of Christianity too positive, the first to allow time for quarrelling, the second to render it necessary (for who would scourge a raw back, ulcerating from within?) and the third to make it consistent. Find out the best, and turn it to the best purposes—the rest belongs to Regret and a brotherly Prayer.
"Dear Sir. I concluded my prefatory sheet, or letter of generalities, by observing and regretting that motives of a personal nature never help or strengthen me in the performance of any attempt, but often disqualify me from doing anything. So excessive Thirst has been known to induce Hydrophobia. So the more anxiously and eagerly we strive to recollect a name, the less chance we have to remember it. The Nisus, or sensation of effort, stands between us and the thing sought for, consumes the attention, and, as long as it continues, eclipses its own object with its shadow. Knowing that no medical aid would much profit me, I have endeavored to prevent Mr. Gillman from knowing the extent of my late illness. From his wife I could not conceal it; and she would have convinced you, first, how earnest and unremitting my efforts were in the first instance to have sent you the sermon by the time wished for; 2nd, how severe have been the sufferings inflicted by the over exertion of that unfortunate night, under the goad of a disqualifying anxiety; and 3rd, how, spite of pain, of fluttering nerves, and of depression bordering on despondency, in spite of the most severely annoying disquietudes from other quarters—in short of a confluence of vexations—I have nevertheless gone on, day after day, from 9 in the morning to 4, and often till 5, in the afternoon, doing my best and utmost.
"Forgive me, dear Sir, if I venture to suggest, that to construe my promise with regard to the time of delivery of the Lay Sermon as absolute and unconditional was to forget the natures both of the Object and of the Agent. I have for so many years rejected from my mind every shallow and common-place thought and phrase, that I have induced a kind of barrenness on my faculties, that would sadly thin the ranks of our trading authors, and make Quartos shrink up into pamphlets,—so that, even if I wished it ever so earnestly, it is not in my power to write by mere dint of memory and volition. Upon one point only can I blame myself: that in my eagerness to oblige you (you must know, Sir! that in this business I could have no personal motive), and in the first vivid sensation of the inrush of thoughts concerning the subject proposed, I too hastily believed that I could do it within the time, because I had formerly done as much or more within the same period, and thus (which was the source of all the after vexation) consented to its being advertised.
"The knowledge of this, the agitating reflection, It must be done at that time, the personal considerations arising from the recent agreement with you, all filled my mind with fear and restlessness, and the more I wrote the less I did. Had I not given way and let my thoughts lead on to a different subject, and had I not consented to have finished that first, I am convinced that I might have been working to this hour to no purpose, instead of having to procure a frank to
