She.— "Four-five-three."
Telephone (in her ear). — "Buzz! Click!"
She (thinking she has connection). —
"Hello! Hello!"
Heavy voice (in professional tones).— '*And how's the coff"
She (compassionately, while waiting). —
"I wonder who it is that's sick.
(Brightens up suddenly.) Hello! That you? Let's try again.
I said, can't you get back to-night
What? Louder, please!"
Heavy voice (interrupting). — "Two colored men"
Telephone (in her ear).— "Br-r-r-r-r! Br-r-r-r-r-r!"
Same voice. — "I guess the fee's all right"
She (desperately).— "Hello! Is Miss Black there? Black! Black!
She is? I merely want to know
If she can't manage to come back"
Person at the other end.— "This here's the cemetery."
She (aghast, hastily jabbing receiver on its hook.)— "Oh!!"
Trouble for the Proof-Reader
"If you think that I am going to pay you a penny for this advertisement of mine in your measly old paper, you are mightily mistaken, my friend," said an irate business man as he slammed down a copy of the Morning Reveille on the counter in the business office of the paper.
"What is the matter with advertisement?" asked the business manager of the paper as he came forward.
"I'd ask what is the matter, if I were you! What I wrote was 'A fresh invoice of dairy butter every day.' Will you just cast your eye on that ad. of mine and see what you have printed!"
The business manager "cast his eye" on the "ad." indicated and looked for a place of safety when he read,—
"A fresh invoice of hairy butter every day!"
XMAS
Why Christmas is spelt X-mas
Is plain as plain can be—
It takes a mass of X's
To fill the X-mas tree.
A Query
("American Beauty Roses, long stems, twelve dollars per doz."—Florist's catalogue. )
If length of "Beauty" stems impart
The heat of a lover's crush,
His depth of pocket and of heart,
Then why not send—the bush?
