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"Well, girlie," he gushes—the big clown!—"when are we going to have that dinner together?"

I felt like saying, "When Niagara Falls starts running the other way!" But I want to straighten out Julius, so I throw the smile into high.

"I'll let you know later," I says. "I want to ask you something first."

"Anything!" he says, with his hand on his heart. He's one of these fellows which simply can't stop acting, on and off. "Anything I possess is yours, if——"

"What could be sweeter than that?" I cut him off, still smiling. "But I just want to ask you a question. What would you do if you were an understudy and knew you were greater than the star, but couldn't get a chance to play the part and dumbfound the world?"

He looks a bit surprised and then he pretends to be giving the matter the same attention the U. S. Supreme Court gives a trust tangle, standing there with his chin in his hand and a frown puckering his noble forehead.

"Why," he says finally, "why, I'd have the star kidnapped for one performance and take my chances!"

And he laughs. A little bit later he was like the laughing hyena which died. He didn't have nothing to laugh it!

Well, I manage to get rid of Hemingway Bryce a few minutes afterwards and I can hardly keep from