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with me, and had provided a match for him with a lady of very great fortune; and since it was impossible for him to refuse, as he must thereby forfeit all his father's regard, he hoped I would make myself easy: especially, as he would take care of the child I should bring into the world, (for I was then with child by him) and would procure me a good place after my delivery; to support me till which time, he sent me a bill of thirty pounds.
My torture and distress were beyond all description, I will not therefore attempt it; a miscarriage ensued, & a dangerous illness, in which I had good hope that I should have finished a burdensome life: though the dread I had of something future deterred me from any thing violent, to which my distresses frequently prompted me. For tho' I wrote and entreated but for one interview, would you believe that I entreated always in vain? This hard-hearted man, this most unkind and cruel source of all my sorrow, would scarcely deign me a reply! My relations were equally obdurate: I desired but to see my sister; my aunt and uncle sent me only in return to my request, sharp upbraidings and savage counsels! Gracious heaven, what a situation was mine! How early did I begin to drink of the bitter cup of penance for my unlawful pleasures & criminal indulgencies!
My youth supported me under this heavy load; the heaviest part of which was my soli-
