but are monkeys descended from us? Eminent Professor says chimpanzees are decadent humans." Shortly afterwards a reporter called to see Papa, and endevoured to induce him to write a series of popular articles on the theory. I have seldom seen Papa so angry. He turned the reporter out of the house with scant ceremony, much to my secret sorrow, as we were particularly short of money at the moment. In fact, for a moment I meditated running after the young man and informing him that my father had changed his mind and would send the articles in question. I could easily have written them myself, and the probabilities were that Papa would never have learnt of the transaction, not being a reader of the Daily Budget. However, I rejected this course as being too risky, so I merely put on my best hat and went sadly down the village to interview our justly irate grocer.
The reporter from the Daily Budget was the only young man who ever came to our house. There were times when I envied Emily, our little servant, who "walked out" whenever occasion offered with a large sailor to whom she was affianced. In between times, to "keep her hand in" as she expressed it, she walked out with the greengrocer's young man, and the chemist's assistant. I reflected sadly that I had no one to "keep my hand in" with. All Papa's friends were aged Professors—usually with long beards. It is true that Professor Peterson once clasped me affectionately and said that I had a "neat little waist" and then tried to kiss me. The phrase alone dated him hopelessly. No self-respecting female has had a "neat little waist" since I was in my cradle.
I yearned for adventure, for love, for romance, and I seemed condemned to an existence of drab utility. The village possessed a lending library, full of tattered works of fiction, and I enjoyed perils and love-making at second hand, and went to sleep dreaming of stern, silent Rhode-
