Page:Marquis de Sade - Adelaide of Brunswick.djvu/172

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regret the promise which you have made to detach yourselves forever from a world where man lives only in the midst of traps which drag him daily towards his destruction. You see in me the unhappy victim of these traps. Would I have gone through all the dangers which I have run if I had been brought here in my childhood to share your work and your prayers? What have I found out in the world? Lies and perfidy, treasons and betrayal, uneasiness and pain, and in the midst of all that only a few instants of pleasure the light of which was always darkened by the abyss which threatened each moment. Ah, my dear sisters, the facility of being able to keep the soul pure does not exist in this deceitful world. It seems that poisoned by the air that one breathes there, it is necessary to lose oneself and be corrupted by the evil ones who inhabit the earth. And as we are obliged to be with them, we have to pretend to be deceived. One might say that weakness which is an integral part of us leaves us no choice except to weep because of our virtue or blush because of our vices. Does one want to live in a dangerous inertia and thereby fall into life of inutility, or does one want to head into the storm and go against the current?"

"Where then is happiness?" asked Urbain.

"There," said Adelaide pointing to the tomb. "It is only there that the end of all our ills awaits us and consequently happiness. For happiness does not exist on the earth. Man dreams of it and never has it, and the being who hopes to achieve it loses it as soon as he dreams of it. Let us admit, sisters, the absence of misfortune is the only happiness that man can enjoy in this world and it is God who has made it this way in order to teach us that it is He alone who is the source of any happiness. It is only in His arms that man can even believe in happiness. Let us thank Him then when we reach the moment of going to Him. Happiness comes only when we reach the tomb because it is there only that we cease to breathe the poison of the serpents on whom we step every day. It is then, my dear sisters, this firm resolution to withdraw from the evils of life which has made me make the decision."

At these words, the abbess came near her and having put on her the dress of the order, she covered her head with the

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