the time naïvely supposing that he would esteem me for it! I had crossed him, but on his departure nothing had made me suspect that he was angry about it! Stupidly enough I had looked upon the favourable transfer to Padang as a proof that he had admired me for ‘crossing’ him. You will see how little I knew him.
“But as soon as I learnt that this was the cause of the severity with which my financial administration had been condemned, I was at peace with myself. I answered point by point to the best of my ability, and concluded my letter—I still have the notes of it—with the words:
“ ‘I have answered the strictures passed on my administration as far as it is possible without archives or local inquiry. I beg that Your Excellency will refrain from treating me with any indulgence. I am young, and insignificant in comparison with the power of the ruling conceptions against which my principles compel me to stand up; but I am nevertheless proud of my moral independence, proud of my honour.’
“Next day I was suspended on account of ‘unfaithful administration.” The Officer of Justice was ordered to carry out his ‘office and duty’ with regard to me.
“So there I stood at Padang, scarce twenty-three, and looked into the future which was to bring me dishonour! I was advised to appeal on the score of my youth—I was still a minor[1] when the alleged offences had taken place—but I declined. Had I not already thought and suffered too much, and . . . I venture to add: also already worked too much, for me to wish to take shelter behind my youth? You see from the conclusion of my letter just quoted, that I did not wish to be treated as a child, I who at Natal had done my duty in respect to the General like a man. And also, from that letter you may see how unfounded was the charge laid against me. Surely, one who is guilty of petty offences does not write like that!
“I was not imprisoned, yet this should have been done if they
- ↑ In Holland minority ended only with the 23rd year of life.
