age you to learn that your quondam tutee is married—it may even kill you: it ought to kill somebody; I know it would of me, a year ago! But I thought it all out, and even though a hot wave of matrimony sometimes sweeps over me and threatens to swamp the coracle my soul believed itself destined to set sail in—
"What I'm trying to say, Geoffrey, is that at best life's only a series of consolation prizes, and you're a fool if you reject even them! Or is that cynicism?
"Whatever it is, it sounds a little disparaging toward Rhoda, and that's a pity, for everybody knows she'd be a grand first prize if that's what you were trying to win.
"Casimir put his finger on it when he ignored my arty allegories and pinned his faith on my cats. He knew what I now suspect: that I'm only expected to be somebody who's not too big for his boots. I hate being him—but Rhoda, who just looked over my shoulder and kissed me on the ear said I be him quite satisfactorily—so you see!
"It's just like at the bank. I'm forever spending the cheque that won't be deposited till next quarter. And that's what I did with my future; I overdrew my account a little, and have to wait to catch up. Meanwhile? Meanwhile I know this: that while accepting as gratefully as may be whatever the moment vouchsafes, I shall always secretly, passionately be yearning for the unknown. I was born with a will o' the wisp complex—when I fell in love I adored a phantom girl;
