Page:Men of Letters, Scott, 1916.djvu/196

170 THE REAL STANLEY HOUGHTON cialism ; and then " dared " himself to do the same sort of thing. And he rose to the challenge wonder- fully. The plays which compose his second period — Partners^ The Fifth Commandment, Fancy Free — are just a series of deft impersonations. Just as sedulously as he had studied suburban audiences for his first efforts, he now studies superurban dramatists. He learned to do the Hankin drawl to perfection. He could supply an absolutely reliable Shaw waiter: — Sib Isaac. Do you mean to say you have been listening to our conversation, Francis? Waiter. Whilst I am serving tea, sir, it is almost impossible to avoid hearing what is said on this side of the screen. That is one of the disadvantages of hotel life, for the conversation of the visitors is usually very tedious, I find. But you do not need to be alarmed, sir. I will undertake that whatever you say shall go no further. Sir I. But really, my dear, you must be more careful in future. It is hardly fair to cause Francis any inconvenience. Waiter. Not at all, sir. Lady Grundy's conversation often gives me the greatest pleasure, I assure you. Her views on current morality are entirely admirable, if I may say so. I often wish my own wife were more like her. A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. Sir I. Her price is certainly far above rubies, Francis, as you will find out if ever you are concerned in an action for slander. Waiter {smiling indulgently). Very good, sir ; very good indeed. ... I have never had the experience of being defendant in a slander action ; though I have been the co-respondent in a divorce case. Lady Grundy. And what did your wife say when she found that you were co-respondent in a divorce case? Waiter. She was not in a position to say anything, my lady. She was respondent in the same case. Or he would run Wilde for a change : — Lady Grundy. Personally, I find bridge a most fatiguing game.