not there for disturbance; he moved not; smiled not; but preserved the utmost decorum, until the service was concluded, when he shouldered his block, and, to the same slow step, bore away, and replaced it where he had found it.
New Heresy.—The minister of a neighbouring parish observing that one of his hearers had absented himself from church for several Sundays together, called upon the recusant and upbraided him for his neglect of Christian duties:—"Ah! John," said he, "what's the matter with you now, that you’ve been so remiss in attending the kirk of late—is it Atheism, or Deism, or that sad Rowism that's the cause?" "Faith no, Sir," said John, "it's something a thousand times waur than a' that." "Save us!" exclaimed the minister, "what can that be?" "Eh! d—n it, Sir," replied John, in a spasm of agony, "its Rheumatism."
Hint to Husbands.—Bishop Thomas was a man of humour and drollery. At a visitation, he gave his clergy an account of his being married four times,—"and," says he cheerfully, "should my present wife die. I will take another; and it is my opinion that I shall survive her. Perhaps you don't know the art of getting quit of your wives. I'll tell you how to do I am called a very good husband; and so I am; for I never contradict them. But don’t you know that the want of contradiction is fatal to women? If you contradict them, that circumstance alone is exercise and health, et optima medicamenta. to all women. But give them their own way, and they will languish and pine, and become gross and lethargic for want of this exercise.
GARDEN WORK IN OCTOBER.
In this and the three following months, dung, dig, and trench all vacant ground, to be ready for spring crops, covering in the dung well. Plant out early cabbages to cut in May. Towards the middle sow early pease and beans, and earth them up when two inches high. About the end plant all kinds of fruit trees; and, before the frost sets in, gooseberries, currants, rasps, and flowering shrubs. All kinds of trees, whether fruit or forest, transplanted this month, will thrive better than later. Dress wall trees and standards. Prepare ground for planting trees
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