Page:My Life and Loves.djvu/225

This page has been validated.

to touch me then? Most men would have gone on kissing and fooling, afraid to act decisively. You must have had a lot of experience? You naughty lad!"

"Shall I tell you the truth?" I said, "I will, just to encourage you to be frank with me. You are the first woman I have ever spent my seed in or had properly—"

"Call it improperly, for God's sake," she cried laughing aloud with joy, "you darling virgin, you! Oh! how I wish I was sixteen again and you were my first lover. You would have made me believe in God. Yet you are my first lover", she added quickly, "I have only learned the delight and ecstasy of love in your arms—"

Our love-talk lasted for hours till suddenly I guessed it was late and looked at my watch: it was nearly seven-thirty: I was late for supper which started at half-past six!

"I must go," I exclaimed, "or I'll get nothing to eat".

"I could give you supper," she added, "my lips too, that long for you and—and—but you know" she added regretfully, "he might come in and I want to know you better first before seeing you together: a young God and a man!—and the man in God's likeness, yet so poor an imitation!"

"Don't, don't," I said, "you'll make life harder for yourself—"

"Harder" she repeated with a sniff of contempt, "Kiss me, my love and go if you must. Shall I see you tomorrow? There!" she cried as with a curse, I’ve given myself away: I can't help it, oh how I want you always: how I shall long for you and count the dull dreary hours! Go, go or I'll never let you"—and she kissed and clung to me to the door.