the fellow should have spoken! After he was dead. He must have been dead when he spoke. It had been done with the last air automatically going out of the lungs. A reflex action, probably, in the dead. . . . If he, Tietjens, had given the fellow the leave he wanted he would be alive now! . . . Well, he was quite right not to have given the poor devil his leave. He was, anyhow, better where he was. And so was he, Tietjens. He had not had a single letter from home since he had been out this time! Not a single letter. Not even gossip. Not a bill. Some circulars of old furniture dealers. They never neglected him! They had got beyond the sentimental stage at home. Obviously so. . . . He wondered if his bowels would turn over again if he thought of the girl. He was gratified that they had. It showed that he had strong feelings. . . . He thought about her deliberately. Hard. Nothing happened. He thought of her fair, undistinguished, fresh face that made your heart miss a beat when you thought about it. His heart missed a beat. Obedient heart! Like the first primrose. Not any primrose. The first primrose. Under a bank with the hounds breaking through the underwood. . . . It was sentimental to say Du bist wie eine Blume. . . . Damn the German language! But that fellow was a Jew. . . . One should not say that one's young woman was like a flower, any flower. Not even to oneself. That was sentimental. But one might say one special flower. A man could say that. A man's job. She smelt like a primrose when you kissed her. But, damn it, he had never kissed her. So how did he know how she smelt! She was a little tranquil, golden spot. He himself must be a ——— eunuch. By temperament. That dead fellow down there must be one, physically. It was probably
Page:No More Parades (Albert & Charles Boni).djvu/46
28
NO MORE PARADES
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/ed/No_More_Parades_%28Albert_%26_Charles_Boni%29.djvu/page46-1024px-No_More_Parades_%28Albert_%26_Charles_Boni%29.djvu.jpg)