THE NINE WORTHIES.
The following satire, which, in the Poems on Affairs of State, is erroneously stated to have been " written when the king went to Flanders, and left nine lords justices," is clearly shown by Macaulay (vol. iii. p. 597.), who states he has seen a contemporary MS. copy bearing the date 1690, to have been written on the nine privy councillors whom William selected to advise Mary during his absence in Ireland. Four of these, Devonshire, Dorset, Monmouth, and Ed- ward Russell were Whigs ; the other five, Caer- marthen, Pembroke, Nottingham, Marlborough, and Lowther were Tories.
" A thin ill-natur'd ghost that haunts the Bang, Till him and us he does to ruin bring, Impeach'd and pardon'd, impudently rides The Council, and the Parliament bestrides : Where some bought members, like his serving men, To all his lies devoutly say Amen. This brazen'd liar, this known cursed K , Is now the man that Church and State must save.
"Room for the Pink of starch'd Civility, The emptiness of old nobility : This fop, without distinction, does apply His bows and smiles to all promiscuously ; With air affected careless waves his wand, And, tottering on, does neither go nor stand. So humbly proud, and so genteelly dull, Too weak for counsel, and too old for trull ; That, to conclude with this bilk'd stately thing, He's a mere costly piece of garnishing.
" A drowsy Wittell, drawn down to the last, Dead before 's time by having liv'd too fast, Lives now upon the wit that's long since gone, Nothing but bulk remains, the soul is flown ; The little good that's sometimes of him said, Is because men will speak well of the dead : For when all's done, this honest, worthy man Has no remorse for taking all he can.
"A grave eye, and an overthinking face, Seem to distinguish him from all his race ; But Nature's proud, and, scorning all restraint, By sudden stars shows there's a mortal saint ; Which to a good observer makes it plain, L'he frenzy will e'er long return again : But after all, to do him right, 'tis sad The best of all the Nine should be stark mad.
" A good attorney spoiled when his ill fate And ours did make him Secretary of State ; For if his part had been to give a charge At country session, where he might enlarge, II' as a rare method to display a thing With mighty sense, not worth the mentioning : But the fine guilded bead is much too weak To bear the weight he's under, so must break.
" Next, Painter, draw a jackanapes of state, A monkey turn'd into a magistrate, A swacy wight born up with heat and noise, Fit only for a ring-leader of boys ; To untile neighbours' houses, and to play Such uncouth gambols on a holyday. Strange ! that so young a government should dote So as to let a whirlwind rule the boat.
" Ungrateful toadstool, despicable thing ! Thus to desert thy master, and thy king ; He was thy maker too, and from the dust Rais'd thee, tho' 'twas to all mankind's disgust. William, with all his courage, must be afraid To trust the villain who has James betrayed ; For sure no things can e'er redeem thy crime, But the same brutal trick a second time.
" As rich in words as he is poor in sense, An empty piece of misplac'd eloquence. With a soft voice, and a moss trooper's smile, The widgeon fain the Commons would beguile j But he is known, and 'tis hard to express, How they deride his northern gentleness, While he lets loose the dull insipid stream Of his set speeches made up of whipt cream.
" 'Tis here alone you'll find, wher'ere you seek, A profound statesman with a cherry cheek. He has a quick eye, and a sprightful glance, His face a map of jolly ignorance ; The lilies, and the roses so dispos'd, Should not by care or thought be discompos'd. Pity that fat, round, pretty, blushing thing, Should e'er be thus condemn'd to counselling."
EXECUTION OF SIR WILLIAM PARKYNS AND
SIB JOHN FRIEND.
Mr. Macaulay's vivid description of this tragical occurrence will receive farther elucidation from the perusal of the following broadside, printed at the time. Both these knights had been found guilty of having invited foreign enemies to invade the realm, and their execution was eagerly expected by the populace of London. An innumerable crowd accordingly assembled at Tyburn. Scaffolding had been put up, which formed an immense amphitheatre round the gallows. On this scaffolding the wealthier spectators stood, row above row ; and expectation was at the height, when it was announced that the show was deferred for a few hours, but the crowd soon reassembled. The subjoined account seems to have been drawn up by an eye-witness. J. Y.
"An Account of what passed at the Execution of Sir Will. Parkyns, and Sir Joh. Friend, at Tyburn, on Friday, April 3d. 1696.
" The prisoners being drawn in a sledge from Newgate to the place of execution, were permitted to have the assistance of three ministers of their own chosing, viz. Mr. Collyer, Mr. Cook, and Mr. Snet.
" Sir Will. Parkyns came first up into the cart : and had some private discourse with one of the ministers.
