Page:Oregon Historical Quarterly volume 17.djvu/415

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DOCUMENTARY 407

justify self and attribute dishonest motives to those who differ from us, he is not unfrequently led to the conclusion that it is wilful stubbornness that induces his opponent to maintain so zealously what appears to him so manifestly absurd. Hence hard feelings are engendered, a quarrel frequently ensues, and alienation of affections is the consequence. If in the absence of the religion of Jesus Christ, such things are unavoidable, even among those who wish to be honest, what shall we say of those haughty, domineering spirits who are determined to carry their own point, right or wrong? But where the re- ligion of the Bible is mutually enjoyed, there is such a spirit of unbounded charity, and constant forbearance, that no difficulty can arise but what may be amicably adjusted and even diffi- culties shall tend to unite more closely those hearts which beat in unison and whose interests are one.

But to return from this digression. It was my intention to choose one from the same condition of life with myself, and though I did not intend to yield that authority which the God of nature has given to man to love the woman, yet I was determined to make my wife my companion, and to spare no pains to make her comfortable and happy ; and never give her reason to regret that she had united her interests with mine, placed her person and her all under my controwl, and confided in me for protection and support. I did not therefore think myself justified in marrying until I had a fair prospect of maintaining a wife comfortably at least by industry and economy.

But being thrown upon the world at the age of 13, without money, to provide for all my wants, by my own industry, I found as years rolled on it was not the work of a day to place myself in those circumstances, which I thought desirable, pre- vious to taking what I viewed as the most important step of life. At the age of 23, however, I began seriously to think of settling upon some spot of earth which I could call my own, and of looking about for her who was to be the solace of future years.