The Tale of the Shipwrecked Parent
holystoned 'em with some kind of ointment and little fiber brushes and spread them out to dry.
"I figgered that it was healthy for me to follow the majority as long as I had to sojourn on Lemuel Wilkins Island. While my whiskers wasn't as fine and silky and luxurious as the savages, they was pretty fair for a fo'ksle growth. So I borrowed a comb and a squeegee and began to tend my chin-warmers as careful and assiduous as my neighbors. This made a hit with 'em from the start, and even the king was kind enough to pass me out a few encouraging words.
"Bime-by I learned that among my islanders rank and office was decided by reason of the longest, bushiest whiskers. It was like this, do you understand: the king held his berth only until some other man of the tribe happened along with a finer set of whiskers. Then the unfortunate ruler had to climb off his perch and make way for a new monarch. The poor old discard let his whiskers get all neglected and frowsy, like the jig was up and he'd
