desire after conviction, I am assured the time must not
be far distant when its purity would become blissfully
evident to you, and you could then exchange the uncertainty and doubt of disbelief for that of faith and hope
in a pure and eternal reward. And then we might be
happy. There would be no bar to our union-there
would be no drawback upon our enjoyments. We
could both of us rejoice in the same gladness-we
could both partake of the same comforts under affliction
without despairing-and most of all, in the fulfilment of
the invaluable trust reposed in us by heaven, we could
then rear up any offspring in the true knowledge of him
who is our Creator and King-our Lord and Saviour
through Jesus Christ his crucified son.'
"In this manner would she endeavor to reason with him upon the subject which formed the bar between them, as much for the safety of his soul as for the end it would be likely to attain with regard to their earthly happiness ; until at length he became fully convinced that his only hope of ever winning her rested upon a conversion to her principles of faith. And such seemed unto him but a mockery of hope, for how could he learn to believe that which through life he had been convinced was nothing but bigotry and superstition . He could not do it. The idea seemed desperate, and he strove for a time to resign himself to his fate-but unavailingly, for true love is of too powerful and buoyant a nature to submit calmly to disappointment, and it ever re-acts and strives with despair, even when hope is irrevocably fled. But still Charlotte's manner toward him was ever the same-cheerful in her assurance of affection, though firm in her filial resolution never to wed him without her parents' consent, which she knew would only be given upon his reformation.
"After a time in this position of affairs Perry resolved to leave his native city, and endeavor to wean his heart from her, amid the scenes and novelties of some distant land, where he would neither see her or hear from her -and doubtless, thus deeming he might forget his unavailing passion.
"His departure had a great effect upon Miss Hamilton's feelings, for she felt that he was driven away by wretchedness to seek relief from utter despair. And she also grieved deeply for his absence, though she deemed it was all ordered for the best, and, therefore, placed implicit reliance in this assurance of faith, while she strove to bear her sorrow with meek resignation . There were still some hopes faintly flickering within her breast, that through the goodness of a bountiful Providence a change would overtake the blind wilfulness of his stubborn heart, and then he would return again to woo her, and not in vain. Yet such a hope seemed too blissful to be cherished, for she feared his eyes might never be opened to a knowledge of their blindness, except through the merciful interposition of the God whom he denied.
Whither was his destination she knew not, or when to
look for his return again ; for he left her, as well as his
friends, unexpectedly, and in doubt even as to his perfect
soundness of mind.
66 During the absence of Perry, other suitors came
forward and aspired to the honor of her hand, for her
loveliness and many estimable qualities, rendered her a
prize worth seeking in the opinion of every one who
knew her, while her amiable fascinations and sweetness
of disposition captivated the hearts of all who came
within the sphere of her attractions. Yet she never
sought for conquest, but strove ever to avoid giving the
slightest encouragement to the hopes which her unaffected kindness of manner could not help but enkindle.
And when impelled forward by the strength of their
passion, her admirers ventured, in spite of discouragement, to unbosom their feelings and sue for her favorthough they were sometimes earnestly seconded by her
beloved parents, she could not yield her consent, but
was firm , though kind in her steadfast affection for him
to whom she had given her true heart fully and irrevocably.
66
'It was nearly three years afterward, when she heard
of him for the first time since his departure, and then
news came that he was on his return home ; and with it
came also a rumor that he had, during his absence, been
awakened to the divine truths of that gospel he hitherto
disavowed, and was at length convinced of the errors
under which he had so long labored. These were glad
tidings to Charlotte, for she had long mourned him as
lost to her forever, and they re-animated the hopes that
for a time lay dormant within her breast. If he was
still constant- and she could not doubt it-there existed
now no obstacle to their union-no impediment in the
way of their future happiness. How sweet was the
reflection that bright days were yet in store for her, after
such a long continuance of clouds and darkness ! and
how dear were her anticipations of the blissful communions they might hereafter enjoy while heart beat
responsive to heart with the same pure and holy rapture,
allied to the exquisite thrillings of requited affection .
Those only who have had their dearest hopes, after lying
cold and inanimate for years, as if lost and dead, suddenly re-illumined with an unexpected turn of fortune,
can imagine or realize the wild excitement which seized
upon her ; she seemed almost beside herself in the extravagance of her delight as she thought upon the double
gratification his return would afford her. There was
ecstasy in the fond anticipation of hearing him, who had
so often profaned the name of his omnipotent Creator,
acknowledge that He, in his divine mercy, had deigned
to interpose his grace in behalf of a rebel and outcast,
and had blessed him with a change of heart. And as
he would say this, he might, perchance, also add, in
those sweet, low tones of passion to which she had often
