the field before me. I hesitate as if I were about to take the veil, but I am gradually coming up to the resolution.
Again it is written:—
I heard an admirable sermon from Mr. Giles, an
English minister, on Christian worship; very logical, full
of poetry, some of the sentences so perfect that I held my
breath till they were finished. I thought much on my
future course, and turned for aid to that Friend with whom
I am beginning to hold true communion. It cannot be
my fancy, Jesus Christ must be a living Spirit, and have
the power of communicating with us, for one thought
towards Him dispels all evil, and earnest, continued
thought produces peace unspeakable.
May 20.—Harry brought me home last evening a letter from Dr. Cox; my hand trembled as I took it. It was kind, giving the necessary information, but perfectly non-committal as to advice. I carried the letter over this morning to the lady friend who had promised to help me pecuniarily. I made up my mind fully to undertake the study if she fulfilled her promise, and already I felt separated from the rest of womankind; I trembled and hoped together. But alas for promises and plans; she offered to lend me 100 dollars—when I am told that I shall want 3,000 dollars! I did not express my disappointment, but asked who would be likely to assist further? She did not know, but thought the plan I had suggested of teaching, and laying up money for a few years, decidedly the best.
Thrown thus entirely on my own resources, I
finally resolved to accept a teacher's position in a
school in North Carolina, where, whilst accumulating
money for future use, I could also commence
a trial of medical study, for the Rev. John Dickson,
