oneself to his embrace! To lose oneself in his arms! I am a little in love with him myself! Yes, I am lonely without him, and when I think of him I smile. That Uncle Vanya says I have the blood of a Nixey in my veins: “Give rein to your nature for once in your life!” Perhaps it is right that I should. Oh, to be free as a bird, to fly away from all your sleepy faces and your talk and forget that you have existed at all! But I am a coward, I am afraid; my conscience torments me. He comes here every day now. I can guess why, and feel guilty already; I should like to fall on my knees at Sonia’s feet and beg her forgiveness, and weep.
Astroff comes in carrying a portfolio.
Astroff. How do you do? [Shakes hands with her] Do you want to see my sketch?
Helena. Yes, you promised to show me what you had been doing. Have you time now?
Astroff. Of course I have!
He lays the portfolio on the table, takes out the sketch and fastens it to the table with thumb-tacks.
Astroff. Where were you born?
Helena. [Helping him] In St. Petersburg.
Astroff. And educated?
Helena. At the Conservatory there
Astroff. You don’t find this life very interesting, I dare say?
Helena. Oh, why not? It is true I don’t know the country very well, but I have read a great deal about it.
Astroff. I have my own desk there in Ivan’s room. When I am absolutely too exhausted to go on I drop everything and rush over here to forget myself in this work for an hour or two. Ivan and Miss Sonia sit rattling at their counting-boards, the cricket chirps, and I sit beside them and paint, feeling warm and peaceful. But I don’t permit
