Page:Poetical Works of John Oldham.djvu/140

And with as much exactness states the case,
As if he had been surveyor of the place.
⁠Another frights the rout with rueful stories,
Of wild chimeras, limbos, purgatories,
And bloated souls in smoky durance hung,
Like a Westphalia gammon, or neat’s tongue,
To be redeemed with masses and a song.
A good round sum must the deliverance buy,
For none may there swear out on poverty.
Your rich, and bounteous shades are only eased;
No Fleet, or King's-bench ghosts are thence released.
⁠A third, the wicked and debauched to please,
Cries up the virtue of indulgences,
And all the rates of vices does assess;
What price they in the holy chamber bear,
And customs for each sin imported there;
How you at best advantages may buy
Patents for sacrilege and simony;
What tax is in the lechery-office laid
On panders, bawds, and punks, that ply the trade;
What costs a rape, or incest, and how cheap
You may an harlot, or an ingle keep;
How easy murder may afforded be
For one, two, three, or a whole family—
But not of heretics; there no pardon lacks,
'Tis one of the church's meritorious acts.
⁠For venial trifles, less and slighter faults,
They ne'er deserve the trouble of your thoughts,
Ten Ave Maries mumbled to the cross,
Clear scores of twice ten thousand such as those.
Some are at sound of christened bell forgiven,
And some by squirt of holy water driven;
Others by anthems played are charmed away,
As men cure bites of the tarantula.
⁠But nothing with the crowd does more enhance
The value of these holy charlatans,
Than when the wonders of the mass they view,
Where spiritual jugglers their chief mastery shew.