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Page:Popular Science Monthly Volume 56.djvu/509

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PRESIDENT JORDAN'S "NEMINISM."

disdain facts and theories and the truth, and must float in the pure, soft twilight of his own imagination while he writes about people who never existed, in a language which nobody can understand. Yet, sir, in your unblushing appropriation of the late Professor Hegel's dictum of Sein und nicht Sein sind dieselbe (which I presume you, sir, to exculpate yourself, will swear you do not understand), and in your changing that immortal antithesis to your Nihil nemini nocet—in doing all this I declare that you have violated one of the most sacred principles, in fact, the very essence of "Neminism; for to say, as you have said, that nothing hurts nobody, is to say a very dull, prosaic, vulgar fact which any fool can understand; but to say that "to be and not to be are the same" is to say something that is not only very beautiful, but, what is far more to the point, is likewise utterly incomprehensible; yet to do this is the essence of Neminism, as you yourself have shown.

As a confirmed Neminist glorying in his Neminism, as Pascal's Father Joseph, the Jesuit, gloried in "interpretation" of the words "murder" and "charity," I am, sir (and I hope my frequent use of this monosyllable will not annoy you, for the first feminist, Plato, uses Ω Σωκρατες quite as frequently, though his expression requires four times as much wind or space as mine), I say, then, that I am always anxious to be thought well of by people who are on top or are getting there, in order, to use your own undignified and cruel metaphor in the Rev. Mr. Lyman Abbott's journal of news and Christianity, that I may continue "to hold down" my position as the janitor and Professor of Leibnitzian Monadology in the University of Mentiphysics. But there are times, sir, when even a Neminist rises above his interest, and, like Richelieu in the play, exchanges the lion's and the fox's skins. In short, I beg to inform you that I believe that you, seeing the growing attachment of the vulgar mob for the Wissenshaftliche Pädagogie of the Robinson Crusoeans or concentrationists, have had the thought to sap the foundations of their success by vulgarizing our noble monopoly of feministic science, and I should not be at all surprised to see your name, after a little, as the editor of a "Journal of Psycho-Materno-Kinder Apperceptics," or of a strictly American "Great Educator Series," beginning with Pontiac and ending with Jim Fiske.

Or perhaps, sir, you are actuated by deeper motives. Our university has not yet received the complimentary copy of your work on Imperial Democracy, the Government probably holding it back until General Young can catch Mr. Aguinaldo, but I see by the publishers' lists that it is out, Now, it is easy to see that if Imperial Democracy gets within a stone's throw of China it will get into China, and, with your knowledge of Aristotle's Politics and the