Tuesday.—Dull sitting closed in lively conversation arising on motion for adjournment. Rupert Gwynne, jealous for due observance of traditions of House, has noticed with concern the departure for Canada for indefinite period of Member for East St. Pancras. At Question time asked Chancellor of Exchequer whether Mr. Martin had applied for Chiltern Hundreds. Answered in the negative, he put a further question to Premier, directing his attention to Act of 6 Henry VIII. c. 16, ordering that no Member of Parliament shall absent himself from attendance except he have licence of Mr. Speaker. This upon pain of having his wages docked. Premier brushed him aside with one of his brief answers.
Gwynne not the man to be shouldered off the path of duty when it lies straight before him. Here was a Member in receipt of £400 a year leaving the place of business where it was assumed to be earned, not even taking the trouble to follow example of the clerk who, left in sole charge of his master's office, wrote in legible hand, "Back D'reckly," affixed notice to front door and went forth to enjoyment of prolonged meal.
Since he could get no satisfaction at Question time he kept Members in, after hour of adjournment, in order to debate subject.
Unfortunately it turned out that he was not exactly the man to have undertaken the job. Amid laughter and hilarious cheering Home Secretary pointed out that here was a case of Satan reproving sin. Reference to the records showed that during the time payment of Members has been in vogue, of 687 divisions Gwynne was absent from 424. (Gwynne later corrected these figures.) During that time he had drawn from the Exchequer salary amounting to £1,000.
"On his own principle, that payment should be in proportion to attendance, the hon. Member," said the Home Secretary, "is entitled to only £400. Being so conscientious no doubt he will repay to the Chancellor of the Exchequer the balance of £600."
Helmsley, gallantly coming to assistance of friend in dire straits, himself fell into the bog. It appeared that of 1056 divisions taken in two Sessions he had been absent from 602. Here was another unexpected little windfall for the Exchequer.
At this stage it was found expedient to drop the subject; adjournment not further resisted.
Business done.—Budget Bill dealt with on Report stage.
Thursday.—With that austerity that since Stuart times has marked relations of House of Commons with royalty Mr. Hogge is known at Westminster simply as the Member for East Edinburgh, a position he with characteristic modesty accepts. But blood, especially royal blood, like murder, will out. Lineal descendant of one of the oldest dynasties in the world's history, Mr. Hogge cannot be expected always and altogether to be free from ancestral influence. Something of the hauteur of 'ogge, King of Bashan (or, as some records have it, og) is discerned in his attitude and manner when, throned on corner seat below Gangway, he occasionally deigns to direct the Prime Minister in the way he should go.
Such opportunity presented itself in conncted with meeting of Conference which through the Parliamentary week has centred upon Buckingham Palace the attention of mankind. With respect to palaces Mr. Hogge is by family association an expert.
"Why Rookery?" Miss Betsey Trotwood sharply asked David Copperfield when he casually mentioned his mother's postal address.
"Why Buckingham Palace?" asked Mr. Hogge, bending severe glance on Treasury Bench whence the Premier had judiciously fled.
St. Stephen's, which houses the Member for East Edinburgh, is also a royal palace. Why then was not the Conference held within its walls, instead of under the roof of what he loftily alluded to as "the domestic Palace"?
This and much more, with covert references to machinations of the two Front Benches, Mr. Hogge wanted to know.
The Prime Minister, uneasily conscious of the coming storm, had, as mentioned, discreetly disappeared. As an offering to righteous indignation he left behind him on the Treasury Bench the body of Attorney-General. That astute statesman avoided difficulty and personal disaster by meekly undertaking to lay before the Prime Minister the views so eloquently and pointedly set forth by the Hon. Member. Mr. Hogge graciously assented to this course, and what at the outset looked like threatening incident terminated.
Business done.—Budget Bill passed Third Reading without a division.
Waiter. "What sauce will you take wiz your fish, Sair?"
Polite Customer. "Well, what disinfectants have you?"
"Mr. Hogge: Can the Prime Minister say whether any of those taking part in the Conference attached any conditions to their entering the Conference?
'I cannot sty,' replied the Premier."—Evening News.
Was this quite worthy of the Prime Minister? We ourselves do not care for these personal jokes on people's names.
"Mr. Asquith's statement was thus of sensational interest, because it represented the last effort at the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour to avert Civil War."
Dublin Evening Mail.
No need to hurry. There are still forty-nine minutes left.
The Finances of Cricket.
"Cumberland batted first and reached the total of £272, C. A. Hardcastle (87), R. B. Brown (41), and R. C. Saint (27) being the chief contributors."—Daily News and Leader.
Suggested mottoes for the L.C.C.:—
"Progress Moderately."
"Tram up a Child."
