This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
154
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 12, 1914.


William, innocent sufferer by "the menace of France," throws aside the cloak.

House of Commons' immediate response was to pass in five minutes all outstanding votes for Army, Navy and Civil Services amounting to £104,642,055.

Business done.Premier announces dispatch of ultimatum to Berlin and imperative demand for answer before midnight.

Wednesday.—Benches less crowded than hitherto during week of tumultuous interest. Explanation forthcoming in fact that something like a hundred Members belonging to Territorial Service have buckled on their armour and responded to call of mobilisation.

Premier's announcement that "since eleven o'clock last night a state of war has existed between Germany and ourselves" hailed with deep-throated cheer. Its volume nothing compared with that which burst forth when he concluded statement with casual remark that to-morrow he will move a Vote of Credit for one hundred millions sterling. Had he mentioned the sum as an instalment paid in advance by Germany on account of war indemnity House couldn't have been more jubilant.

Byles of Bradford uneasy in regard to Bill introduced by Home Secretary authorising imposition of restrictions upon aliens in time of war or great emergency. Thinks it might cause inconvenience to worthy persons. Otherwise Government receive unanimous support for various legislative proposals rendered necessary by state of war.

Chancellor of Exchequer reports conclusions arrived at in conference of leading bankers and manufacturers met at the Treasury to consider best way of grappling with unprecedented financial situation created by events of past fortnight. Happy thought to include in invitation his predecessor at the Treasury. In accordance with patriotic spirit obliterating party animosity, Son Austen promptly accepted invitation. Gives valuable assistance to Lloyd George in recommending proposals to appreciative House.

In short, whatever may be happening in Belgium or the North Sea, Millennium reigns at Westminster.

Business done.—Many Bills advanced by various stages.


"ONE TOUCH OF POTSDAM…


Sir Edward Carson. "A marvellous diplomatist, this German Kaiser."
Mr. John Redmond. "Yes, he's made comrades of us when everybody else had failed."

Thursday.—In moving Vote of Credit for one hundred million sterling Premier wholesomely lets himself go in comment on the "infamous proposal" of Germany that for a mess of pottage (extremely thin) England should betray her ally, France. Crowded House loudly sympathised with righteous indignation.

Fresh burst of cheering when he pays finely phrased tribute to Edward Grey, as the "Peacemaker of Europe."

Captain Lord Dalrymple of the Scots Guards lends opportune gleam of martial splendour to bench where he sits arrayed in khaki uniform that has seen service in the Boer War. The Premier's eye catching a glimpse of it, he with great presence of mind asked for authority to strengthen the army by an additional half-million of men.

In its present mood the House denied him nothing.

Business done.—Vote of Credit for £100,000,000 granted with both hands.

Monday, Aug. 10.—House adjourned till Tuesday the 25th.



The Mad Dog of Europe.

"The dog, to serve some private ends,
Went mad and bit the man.
*****
The man recovered from the bite;
The dog it was that died.

Goldsmith.

"SCHOOL PLAYGROUNDS.

THE PROPOSAL TO DECREASE THEIR SIZE TO THE EDITOR OF THE TIMES."

The Times.

And to increase it, we hope, to Mr. Chesterton.



MR. PUNCH'S HOLIDAY STORIES.

(Constructed after the best models.)

I.—An Alpine Adventure.

(Concluded.)

[Synopsis of Preceding Instalment:—Ralph Wonderson, the famous athlete, while on a mountaineering expedition in Switzerland, encounters Lady Margaret Tamerton, whom he has not seen since childhood. With her are her brother, Lord Tamerton; her cousin, Sir Ernest Scrivener; and three Swiss guides. They combine to make an ascent of the Wetterhorn under Ralph's leadership. Early in the climb Ralph discovers that Sir Ernest Scrivener is none other than his own mortal foe, Marmaduke Moorsdyke. A perilous traverse of a glacier has to be undertaken. All cross in safety except Sir Ernest, who makes imprudent remark which causes a line of overhanging séraes to collapse upon him and sweep him down the glacier. Ralph dives unhesitatingly to the rescue of his deadliest foe.]

Rather than face a second traverse of the awful glacier the remaining members of the party continued the ascent. With shaken nerves they pressed on to the best of their ability, but it was nearly dark when they at length reached the summit, hoping to find another and easier route to the foot.

But luck was against them. A devastating blizzard enveloped them, and they lay huddled together behind a rock, chilled to the bone by the driving particles of ice and snow.

"There is no escape," said Lord Tamerton mournfully to his sister, Lady Margaret. "We must prepare to meet our deaths like true mountaineers."

"True fiddlesticks!" replied Lady Margaret with spirit. "Ralph will come back to us."

"Do you love him, Madge?" asked her brother.

"Yes," she replied simply.

"Then he will surely come back."

Even as she spoke a tall figure loomed of the blizzard and raised his hat with cold formality.

"Your cousin is safe in the hospital at Interlaken," said Ralph, addressing Lord Tamerton with marked constraint. "He has merely sustained a fractured patella. With your permission we will now descend,"

"What is the matter, Ralph?" cried Lady Margaret pleadingly; but, ignoring her question, he busied himself in tying on the rope.

The descent which followed is still spoken of with bated breath by the