The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists
Rushton, Didlum and Grinder fairly gasped for breath: the audacity of the chiefs proposal nearly paralyzed them.
'I'm afraid we should never git away with it,' ejaculated Didlum, as soon as he could speak; 'when the people tumbled to it, there'd be no hend of a row.'
'People! Row!' replied Sweater, scornfully. 'The majority of the people will never know anything about it! Listen to me'
'Are you quite sure as we can't be over-'eard?' interrupted Rushton, glancing nervously at the door and round the office.
'It's all right,' answered Sweater, who nevertheless lowered his voice almost to a whisper; and the others drew their chairs closer and bent forward to listen.
'You know we still have a little money in hand. Well, what I propose is this. At the Annual Meeting, which, as you know, comes off next week, we'll arrange for the secretary to read a highly satisfactory report, and we'll declare a dividend of 15 per cent—we can arrange it somehow between us. Of course we'll have to cook the accounts a little, but I'll see that it's done properly. The other shareholders are not going to ask any awkward questions, and we all understand each other.'
Sweater paused, and regarded the other three brigands intently. 'Do you follow me?' he asked.
'Yes, yes,' said Didlum eagerly; 'go on with it.' And Rushton and Grinder nodded assent.
'Afterwards,' resumed Sweater, 'I'll arrange for a good report of the meeting to appear in the "Weekly Ananias." I'll instruct the Editor to write it himself, and tell him just what to say. I'll also get him to write a leader saying that electricity is sure to supersede gas for lighting purposes in the very near future, referring to the huge profits made by the Gas Company, and remarking how much better it would have been if the town had bought the gasworks years ago so that those profits might have been used to reduce the rates the same as has been done in other towns. Finally the article will declare that it's a great pity that the Electric Light Supply should be in the hands of a private company, and suggest that an effort be made to acquire it for the town. In the meantime we can all go about—in a very quiet and judicious way, of course—bragging of what a good thing we've got,
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