The Beano Meeting
ers' on the Saturday afternoon of the same week that Bill Bates and the Semi-Drunk got the sack.
'Last Thursday night about five o'clock,' said Crass, ''Unter comes inter the paint shop an' ses to me: "I wants a pail o' wash made up to-night, Crass," e' ses, "ready for fust thing in the mornin'," 'e ses. "Oh," I ses, lookin' 'im straight in the bloody eye. "Oh, yer do, do yer?"—just like that. "Yes," 'e says. "Well, you can bloody well make it yerself", I ses, "'cos I ain't agoin' to," I ses, just like that. "Wot the 'ell do yer mean," I ses, "by comin' 'ere at this time o' the night with a order like that?" I ses. You'd a larfed,' continued Crass, as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand after taking another drink out of his glass, and looking round to note the effect of the story; 'you'd a larfed if you'd bin there. 'E was fairly flabbergasted! An' then 'e started apoligising and said as 'e 'ad'nt meant no offence; but I told 'im bloody straight not to come no more of it. "You bring the horder at a reasonable time," I ses—just like that—"and I'll attend to it," I ses, "but not otherwise," I ses.'
As he concluded this story Crass drained his glass and gazed round upon his admiring audience. Yes, undoubtedly that was the proper way to deal with such bounders as Nimrod: take up a strong attitude, an' let 'em see as you'll stand no nonsense!
'Yer don't blame me, do yer?' continued Crass. 'Why should we put up with a lot of old buck from the likes of 'im! We're not a lot of bloody Chinamen, are we?'
Far from blaming him, they all assured him that they would have acted in precisely the same way under similar circumstances.
'For my part, I'm a bloke like this,' said a tall man with a very loud voice, who as a matter of fact nearly fell down dead every time Rushton or Misery looked at him; 'I'm a bloke like this 'ere: I never stands no cheek from no gaffers! If a guv'nor ses two bloody words to me, I downs me tools an' I ses to 'im: "Wot! don't I suit yer, guv'nor? Ain't I done enuff for yer? Werry good! Gimmie me bleedin' 'a'pence."'
'Quite right too,' said everybody. That was the way to serve 'em. If only everyone would do the same as the tall man, who had just paid for another round of drinks, things would be a lot more comfortable than they was.
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