Page:Randolph, Paschal Beverly; Eulis! the history of love.djvu/149

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Affectional Alchemy.

and gives it an airing now and again; but woman reverses all that, and loves right straight along from the start, every day and all the time, provided she loves at all. Whatever she may be about, no matter what, her love is the sole theme of her life, the only occupation of her mind; and she takes good care to give it air every hour of the day; and a fair return, in kind, amply repays her for many an hour of mortal anguish. If she fails to get it, God help her! for her life is but a lingering, painful, torturous death. It is even so with man. If he loves,—as I have loved, My God!—and after long months of toil awakens to find his idol but a phantom; that he has been embalming a doll in his own heart and loving it, but getting no return, what wonder that madness comes, and the wild beating of his heart and throbbing of his temples drive him to the brink of ruin, until he stands toppling on the cliffs of suicide, doubtful whether to leap or not; and only saved by the Omnipotent hand of the interfering God!

CXXIII. Lust ties man to the outer walls of human life, and keeps him there a prisoner feeding upon the poorest of husks. But Love frees him from many a gyve and thrall; gives him the freedom of God's gardens of joy; feeds him with the bread of life; opens the gates of heaven; and admits him to the companionship of celestial Verities and divinest life and truth. Without love we are, indeed, poor hermits in the world!

CXXIV. People plunge headlong into perdition and social gehenna by rushing into each other's arms too often! Passional excess generates disease; Love cures them; and all the kidney difficulties and nervous disorders extant are but the physical expression of the morbid and unhealthy states of the love-natures of their respective victims.

Those who love can never prostitute themselves or each other, in any way.

It is just as impossible to kindle fire with ice as to long deceive a soul that loves. But, ah, God, how terrible is the awakening to the fact that all this time you have been lavishing your heart's best treasures on a dead stock! Then—in her case, comes leucorrhœa or gravid uterus,—not physical ailments, but the outward sign that