Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/25

read, and I was then questioned respecting the sermon, a part of which I could generally repeat. Dinner, as breakfast, was taken in silent haste, after which we were not suffered to walk, even in the garden, but every one must either read, or hear reading, until the bell gave the signal for afternoon service, from which we returned to private devotion, to reading, to catechising, to examination, and long family prayer, which closed the most laborious day of the week. It was the custom for many of our visiting friends to unite with us in these evening exercises, to the no small gratification of my father; it is true, especially after he became an invalid, he was often extremely fatigued, but, upon these occasions, the more he suffered, the more he rejoiced, since his reward would be the greater, and indeed his sufferings, of every description, were to him a never-failing source of consolation. In fact, this devotional life became to him second nature, but it was not so to his family. For myself, I was alternately serious, and wild, but never very moderate in any thing. My father rejoiced in my devotional frames, and was encouraged to proceed, as occasion was given, in the good work of whipping, admonishing, and praying. I continued to repeat my pious resolutions, and, still more to bind my soul, I once vowed a vow unto the Lord,—kissing the book for the purpose of adding to its solemnity,—that I would no more visit the pleasure grounds, nor again associate with those boys, who had been my companions. Almost immediately after this transaction I attended a thundering preacher, who, taking for his text that command of our Saviour, which directs his disciples to "swear not at all," gave me to believe I had committed a most heinous transgression, in the oath that I had taken: nay, he went so far as to assure his hearers, that to say, "upon my word," was an oath, a very horrid oath, since it was tantamount to swearing by Jesus Christ, inasmuch as he was the word, who was made flesh for us, and dwelt among us. This sermon rendered me for a long season truly wretched, while I had no individual to whom I could confide my distresses. To my father I dared not even name my secret afflictions, and my mother, as far as the tenderness of her nature would permit, was in strict unison with her venerated husband. The depression of my spirits upon this occasion was great, and enduring; but for revolving months I continued what they called a good boy, I was attentive to my book, carefully following the directions which were given me, and, on my return from school, instead of squandering the hours of intermission with idle associates, I immediately retired to the