Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/89

tion for those, with whom I had communed in the tabernacle; but, passing over Moorfields, I saw a crowd of people, collected under the shade of a large tree. I inquired of a passenger, what occasioned the assembling of such a multitude; and I was informed, one of James Relly's preachers was disseminating his damnable doctrines to the infatuated people! My soul kindled with indignation; and, from the abundance of an heart, overflowing with religious zeal, I could not forbear exclaiming: Merciful God! How is it, that Thou wilt suffer this Demon thus to proceed? are not mankind naturally bad enough, but must these wretches be suffered to give publicity to tenets, so pernicious, so destructive? thus, in the name of God, doing the work of the Devil. At this period, I should have considered myself highly favoured, to have been made an instrument, in the hand of God, for taking the life of a man, whom I had never heard, nor even seen; and, in destroying him, I should have nothing doubted, that I had rendered essential service, both to the Creator and the created. I did not then know, how much I was leavened with the leaven of the Pharisees; and that, notwithstanding my assurance of having passed from death, unto life, in consequence of loving the brethren, this boasted love extended to none, but those of my own persuasion. I always returned from the tabernacle, with my heart filled with religious zeal. The intermission of public worship was always appropriated to private devotion; in a word, all my devotional habits were restored, and my Sundays were an exact transcript of those, which I had passed in the family of my father. The Sundays, upon which I took my seat at the communion table, in the chapel, were more abundantly fatiguing. The chapel was some miles from my lodgings; but I never absented myself, either summer or winter, and I greatly exulted when I was the first, who appeared within its consecrated walls. The more I suffered in reaching this place, the more I enjoyed when there; and often, while passing the streets of London, in the midst of storms of rain or snow, my heart has swelled with transport, in the thought, that I was going to Heaven by means of these difficulties, and trials; while the many, who were then sleeping, were suspended over the pit of destruction, into which they must one day fall, to rise again no more forever. And why, Oh! why, I used to repeat, am I snatched, as a brand from the burning; why am I, an offender against light, against precept, and example, made a blessed heir of Heaven, while far the greater part of my species are consigned to endless misery? There were a number of young people, of both sexes, who, having assembled from a great distance, could not return