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THE SORRY DRUNKARD


Once there lived an old man, and he was such a sorry drunkard as words cannot describe. He used to go to the drinking-booth, drink green wine, and crawl away home through the hops.[1] And his road lay across a river.

When he came to the river, he did not dally to think; but slipped off his boots, hung them on his head, and wandered at ease till he came into the middle, stumbled and fell into the water, and was heard of no more.

But he had a son, Ugly Peter, Petrúsha. When Petrúsha saw that his father had vanished utterly, he became melancholy, and wept, had a Requiem Mass sung for his soul, and began to adminster the property.

One day, on a Sunday, he went to church to pray to God. As he was going on his way, in front of him there was a woman crawling along, going slowly, slowly, stumbling on the reeds[2], and scolding hard: "What the devil knocks you against me!"

Petrúsha heard her ugly language, and said: "Good-day, Auntie; where are you going?"

"I am off to church, Gossip, to pray to God."

"But is not it very sinful of you, going to church to pray to God, and then invoking the Unholy Spirit? You stumbled, and then invoked the devil!"

Well, he went on, and he heard Mass, and went on and on; and suddenly, from somewhere or other, there stood in front of him a fine youth who bowed down to him and said: "Thank you, Petrúsha, for your good word."

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  1. Russian: во хмелю, literally 'in the hops' means 'in a drunken state'. (Wikisource contributor note)
  2. Russian: о камышек, literally 'on little stones'. (Wikisource contributor note)