Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (1).pdf/11

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John Falkirk's Witty Jokes.
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hand to strike my parents, but he gives his other brother that sat by him, a blow on the ear, saying, give that about by the way of a drink, till it comes to my father again.

A sailor being travelling between Edinburgh and Linlithgow, which is twelve long computed miles; and as he was setting out in the morning about eight o'clock, he saw a vain-like young spark go running past him, which he never minded, but kept jogging on at his own leisure: and as he was going into Linlithgow, about twelve o'clock, up comes the young spark, and asked the sailor what o'clock it was, why says the sailor, I see you have a watch and I have none, what is it? out he pulls his watch, ho! said he, it's directly twelve, and what do you think, it was half an hour after ten or I came out of Edinburgh, I have walked it in an hour and an half; it is pretty well tript, says the sailor, but pray sir, what man of business are you? O! said he, I am a watch-maker, I was thinking so said the sailor, for you have made your watch to answer your feet, for these feet cannot answer a right watch, and I suppose your tongue can't keep time with either of them, do you remember where you went past me this morning about eight o'clock? yes, said he, and off he went.

A certain old reverend priest, being one night at supper in a gentleman's house; and for one article having eggs, the server of the table, as usual laid a cloth on every one's