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come of my soul? Ah, would that I had served my God better! Then will the tepid, luxurious, idle, rich man cry out, as the pious Philip II, of Spain did on his death-bed: “How happy I would be now if I had spent my life in some corner of a desert.”^[1] Then will he sigh forth, like that dying rich man of whom St. Vincent Ferrer speaks: “I have built many houses on earth; would that I had built even one small cell in heaven!”^[2] Then will he cry out with that dying courtier: “I have served a mortal king for some forty years; would that I had spent the twentieth part of that time in the service of the Emperor of heaven! I have written many reams of paper; would that I had used one leaf to write out my sins for a general confession!” Then will that vain woman, if so much grace will be given her, full of anguish and remorse, send for a confessor, and exclaim with lips and heart: Ah, would to God! Ah, if I had only…! Well? What do you wish for? If you had only what? Ah, if I had only lived a more pious, devout, and Christian life! If I had only made more use of my crucifix than of my looking-glass! If I had only been more zealous in going to adore God in the church, and in attending sermons and devotions, than in paying visits to mere mortals! If I had only my rosary more frequently in my hands than the pack of cards! If I had only wrapped myself up in a mantle many a time, so that no eye could see me, instead of giving scandal to others by my indecent dress! If I had only spent more time in adorning my soul with virtues than in tricking out my body with vain apparel! If I had only given to Christ in His poor what I squandered on luxury and superfluities! If I had only chastised my body with penances instead of indulging in those pleasures I sought after so eagerly! If I had only mortified my body by hair-shirts and disciplines and iron girdles instead of decking it out for show! If I had only given the morning to devotion instead of spending it in sleep! But what a change in your opinion! Those wishes are quite contrary to what you formerly expressed. Now you appear to wish to have led the very life that formerly inspired you with horror and disgust. Ah, so it is! Now you wish you had acted like those whose piety and modesty you used to hold in derision. So you have completely changed your judgment; and why? The blessed candle that I hold in my hand to remind me that I am about to journey into eternity has filled

1. Ah quam forem beatus, si vitam omnem in angulo deserti alicujus traduxissem.
2. Plures ædiflcavi domos in terris; utinam parvam unam cellulam ædificassem in cœlis.