not know that the letter contained the sentence of death for him. O judgments of God! how terrible you are; for we shall have to answer not only for our sins, but also for our good works and virtuous actions! I sometimes flatter myself now that I am heaping up merits; I imagine that I am carrying about with me letters of credit for eternity when I count up my good works; but perhaps for all I know there may be amongst them letters like that of Urias, which will increase my responsibility, as the good works are not performed for the proper end. O Lord! if Thou art so strict in judging justices, what shall become of me, a poor sinner?
Hence the answer will be most difficult and we have reason to fear judgment. Now I know how well-grounded is the fear of Thy servant Job, and I must acknowledge with him: “Indeed I know it is so, and that man cannot be justified compared with God. If he will contend with Him, he cannot answer Him one for a thousand.”[1] The holy Abbot Elias, a great ascetic, and much given to the practice of mortification, considering the strict judgment that awaited him at the end of his life, cried out filled with dread: “Three things I fear: the exit of the soul from the body, that terrible, momentary spring from time to eternity; the severity of the judgment, the strict examination of my whole life; and finally, the Judge’s sentence that shall be pronounced according to the requirements of justice, without any regard for mercy, and it shall be irrevocable for all eternity.”[2] Ah, my God! holy men have experienced that fear in spite of the austerity of their lives; and we are so little concerned that we live in utter carelessness, and waste our years in vanity, dissoluteness, and luxury! Rosweid relates in his Lives of the Ancient Fathers that a celebrated hermit who kept the thought of the strict account he would have to render in the judgment always before his mind, once hearing a young ecclesiastic laugh while engaged in some innocent recreation, opened his eyes wide in amazement, and reproved the young man in these few but pithy words: We shall have to give an account of ourselves to the God of heaven and earth, and yet you laugh![3] I mention this anecdote, not meaning that we should always spend our time in sadness, in scruples of conscience, and give way to pusillanimity. No; my only object is that we should not altogether forget this eternal
- ↑ Vere scio quod ita sit, et quod non justificetur homo compositus Deo. Si voluerit contendere cum eo, non poterit ei respondere unum pro mille.—Job ix. 2, 3.
- ↑ Tria timeo: egressionem animæ e corpore; severitatem examinis; sententiam Judicis.
- ↑ Coram cœli et terræ Domino rationem reddituri sumus; et tu rides!
