Actus Tertius. Scena Prima.
Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio, Angelo the Goldsmith, and Balthaser the Merchant.
E.Anti.
Good signior Angelo you must excuse vs all,
My wife is shrewish when I keepe not howres;
Say that I lingerd with you at your shop
To see the making of her Carkanet,
And that to morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villaine that would face me downe
He met me on the Mart, and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand markes in gold,
And that I did denie my wife and house;
Thou drunkard thou, what didst thou meane by this?
E.Dro.
Say what you wil sir, but I know what I know,
That you beat me at the Mart I haue your hand to show;
If the skin were parchment, & the blows you gaue were ink,
Your owne hand-writing would tell you what I thinke.
E.Ant.
I thinke thou art an asse.
E.Dro.
Marry so it doth appeare
By the wrongs I suffer, and the blowes I beare,
I should kicke being kickt, and being at that passe,
You would keepe from my heeles, and beware of an asse.
E.An.
Y'are sad signior Balthazar, pray God our cheer
May answer my good will, and your good welcom here.
Bal.
I hold your dainties cheap sir, & your welcom deer.
E.An.
Oh signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
A table full of welcome, makes scarce one dainty dish.
Bal.
Good meat sir is co[m]mon that euery churle affords.
Anti.
And welcome more common, for thats nothing but words.
Bal.
Small cheere and great welcome, makes a merrie feast.
Anti.
I, to a niggardly Host, and more sparing guest:
But though my cates be meane, take them in good part,
Better cheere may you haue, but not with better hart.
But soft, my doore is lockt; goe bid them let vs in.
E.Dro.
Maud, Briget, Marian, Cisley, Gillian, Ginn.
S.Dro.
Mome, Malthorse, Capon, Coxcombe, Idiot, Patch,
Either get thee from the dore, or sit downe at the hatch:
Dost thou coniure for wenches, that thou calst for such store,
When one is one too many, goe get thee from the dore.
E.Dro.
What patch is made our Porter? my Master stayes in the street.
S.Dro.
Let him walke from whence he came, lest hee catch cold on's feet.
E.Ant.
Who talks within there? hoa, open the dore.
S.Dro.
Right sir, Ile tell you when, and you'll tell me wherefore.
Ant.
Wherefore? for my dinner: I haue not din'd to day.
S.Dro.
Nor to day here you must not come againe when you may.
Anti.
What art thou that keep'st mee out from the howse I owe?
S.Dro.
The Porter for this time Sir, and my name is Dromio.
E.Dro.
O villaine, thou hast stolne both mine office and my name,
The one nere got me credit, the other mickle blame:
If thou hadst beene Dromio to day in my place,
Thou wouldst haue chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an asse.
Enter Luce.
What a coile is there Dromio? who are those at the gate?
E.Dro.
Let my Master in Luce.
Luce.
Faith no, hee comes too late, and so tell your Master.
E.Dro.
O Lord I must laugh, haue at you with a Prouerbe,
Shall I set in my staffe.
Luce.
Haue at you with another, that's when? can you tell?
S.Dro.
If thy name be called Luce, Luce thou hast an-swer'd him well.
Anti.
Doe you heare you minion, you'll let vs in I hope?
Luce.
I thought to haue askt you.
S.Dro.
And you said no.
E.Dro.
So come helpe, well strooke, there was blow for blow.
Anti.
Thou baggage let me in.
Luce.
Can you tell for whose sake?
E.Drom.
Master, knocke the doore hard.
Luce.
Let him knocke till it ake.
Anti.
You'll crie for this minion, if I beat the doore downe.
Luce.
What needs all that, and a paire of stocks in the towne?
Enter Adriana.
Who is that at the doore that keeps all this noise?
S.Dro.
By my troth your towne is troubled with vnruly boies.
Anti.
Are you there Wife? you might haue come before.
Adri.
Your wife sir knaue? go get you from the dore.
E.Dro.
If you went in paine Master, this knaue wold goe sore.
Angelo.
Heere is neither cheere sir, nor welcome, we would faine haue either.
Baltz.
In debating which was best, wee shall part with neither.
E.Dro.
They stand at the doore, Master, bid them welcome hither.
Anti.
There is something in the winde, that we cannot get in.
E.Dro.
You would say so Master, if your garments were thin.
Your cake here is warme within: you stand here in the cold.
It would make a man mad as a Bucke to be so bought and sold.
Ant.
Go fetch me something, Ile break ope the gate.
S.Dro.
Breake any breaking here, and Ile breake your knaues pate.
E.Dro.
A man may breake a word with your sir, and words are but winde:
I and breake it in your face, so he break it not behinde.
S.Dro.
It seemes thou want'st breaking, out vpon thee hinde.
E.Dro.
Here's too much out vpon thee, I pray thee let me in.
S.Dro.
I, when fowles haue no feathers, and fish haue no fin.
Ant.
Well, Ile breake in: go borrow me a crow.
E.Dro.
A crow without feather, Master meane you so;
