Troylus and Cressida.
Which with my Cemitar Ile coole to morrow:
Patroclus, let vs Feast him to the hight.
Patroclus, let vs Feast him to the hight.
Pat.
Heere comes Thersites.
Heere comes Thersites.
Enter Thersites.
Achil.
How now, thou core of Enuy?
Thou crusty batch of Nature, what's the newes?
How now, thou core of Enuy?
Thou crusty batch of Nature, what's the newes?
Ther.
Why thou picture of what thou seem'st, & Idoll
of ldeot-worshippers, here's a Letter for thee.
Why thou picture of what thou seem'st, & Idoll
of ldeot-worshippers, here's a Letter for thee.
Achil.
From whence, Fragment?
From whence, Fragment?
Ther.
Why thou full dish of Foole, from Troy.
Why thou full dish of Foole, from Troy.
Pat.
Who keepes the Tent now?
Who keepes the Tent now?
Ther.
The Surgeons box, or the Patients wound.
The Surgeons box, or the Patients wound.
Patr.
Well said aduersity, and what need these tricks?
Well said aduersity, and what need these tricks?
Ther.
Prythee be silent boy, I profit not by thy talke,
thou art thought to be Achilles male Varlot.
Prythee be silent boy, I profit not by thy talke,
thou art thought to be Achilles male Varlot.
Patro.
Male Varlot you Rogue? What's that?
Male Varlot you Rogue? What's that?
Ther.
Why his masculine Whore. Now the rotten
diseases of the South, guts-griping Ruptures, Catarres,
Loades a grauell i'th'backe, Lethargies, cold Palsies, and
the like, take and take againe, such prepostrous discoueries.
Why his masculine Whore. Now the rotten
diseases of the South, guts-griping Ruptures, Catarres,
Loades a grauell i'th'backe, Lethargies, cold Palsies, and
the like, take and take againe, such prepostrous discoueries.
Pat.
Why thou damnable box of enuy thou, what
mean'st thou to curse thus?
Why thou damnable box of enuy thou, what
mean'st thou to curse thus?
Ther.
Do I curse thee?
Do I curse thee?
Patr.
Why no, you ruinous But, you whorson
indistinguishable Curre.
Why no, you ruinous But, you whorson
indistinguishable Curre.
Ther.
No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle,
immateriall skiene of Sleyd silke; thou greene Sarcenet
flap for a sore eye, thou tassell of a Prodigals purse thou;
Ah how the poore world is pestred with such water-flies,
diminutiues of Nature.
No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle,
immateriall skiene of Sleyd silke; thou greene Sarcenet
flap for a sore eye, thou tassell of a Prodigals purse thou;
Ah how the poore world is pestred with such water-flies,
diminutiues of Nature.
Pat.
Out gall.
Out gall.
Ther.
Finch Egge.
Finch Egge.
Ach.
My sweet Patroclus, am thwarted quite
From my great purpose in to morrowes battell:
Heere is a Letter from Queene Hecuba,
A token from her daughter, my faire Loue,
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keepe
An Oath that I haue sworne. I will not breake it,
Fall Greekes faile Fame, Honor or go, or stay,
My maior vow lyes heere; this Ile obay:
Come, come Thersites, helpe to trim my Tent,
This night in banquetting must all be spent.
Exit.Away Patroclus.
My sweet Patroclus, am thwarted quite
From my great purpose in to morrowes battell:
Heere is a Letter from Queene Hecuba,
A token from her daughter, my faire Loue,
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keepe
An Oath that I haue sworne. I will not breake it,
Fall Greekes faile Fame, Honor or go, or stay,
My maior vow lyes heere; this Ile obay:
Come, come Thersites, helpe to trim my Tent,
This night in banquetting must all be spent.
Exit.Away Patroclus.
Ther.
With too much bloud, and too little Brain, these
two may run mad: but if with too much braine, and too
little blood, they do, Ile be a curer of madmen, Heere's
Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one that loues
Quailes, but he has net so much Braine as eare-wax; and
the goodly transformation of Iupiter there his Brother,
the Bull, the primatiue Statue, and oblique memoriall of
Cuckolds, a thrifty shooing-horne in a chaine, hanging
at his Brothers legge, to what forme but that he is, shold
wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turne
him too: to an Asse were nothing; hee is both Asse and
Oxe; to an Oxe were nothing, hee is both Oxe and Asse:
to be a Dogge, a Mule, a Cat, a fitchew, a Toade, a Lizard,
an Owle, a Puttocke, or a Herring without a Roe,
I would not care: but to be Menelaus, I would conspire
against Destiny. Aske me not what I would be, if I were
not Thersites: for I care not to bee the lowse of a Lazar,
so I were not Menelaus. Hoy-day, spirits and fires.
With too much bloud, and too little Brain, these
two may run mad: but if with too much braine, and too
little blood, they do, Ile be a curer of madmen, Heere's
Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one that loues
Quailes, but he has net so much Braine as eare-wax; and
the goodly transformation of Iupiter there his Brother,
the Bull, the primatiue Statue, and oblique memoriall of
Cuckolds, a thrifty shooing-horne in a chaine, hanging
at his Brothers legge, to what forme but that he is, shold
wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turne
him too: to an Asse were nothing; hee is both Asse and
Oxe; to an Oxe were nothing, hee is both Oxe and Asse:
to be a Dogge, a Mule, a Cat, a fitchew, a Toade, a Lizard,
an Owle, a Puttocke, or a Herring without a Roe,
I would not care: but to be Menelaus, I would conspire
against Destiny. Aske me not what I would be, if I were
not Thersites: for I care not to bee the lowse of a Lazar,
so I were not Menelaus. Hoy-day, spirits and fires.
Enter Hector, Aiax, Agamemnon, Vlysses,
Nestor, Diomed, with Lights.
Nestor, Diomed, with Lights.
Aga.
We go wrong, we go wrong.
We go wrong, we go wrong.
Aiax.
No yonder'tis, there where we see the light.
No yonder'tis, there where we see the light.
Hect.
I trouble you.
I trouble you.
Aiax.
No, not a whit.
No, not a whit.
Enter Achilles.
Vlys.
Heere comes himselfe to guide you?
Heere comes himselfe to guide you?
Achil.
Welcome braue Hector, welcome Princes all.
Welcome braue Hector, welcome Princes all.
Agam.
So now faire Prince of Troy, I bid goodnight,
Aiax commands the guard to tend on you.
So now faire Prince of Troy, I bid goodnight,
Aiax commands the guard to tend on you.
Hect.
Thanks, and goodnight to the Greeks general.
Thanks, and goodnight to the Greeks general.
Men.
Goodnight my Lord.
Goodnight my Lord.
Hect.
Goodnight sweet lord Menelaus.
Goodnight sweet lord Menelaus.
Ther.
Sweet draught: sweet quoth‐a? sweet sinke, sweet sure.
Sweet draught: sweet quoth‐a? sweet sinke, sweet sure.
Achil.
Goodnight and welcom, both at once, to those I
that go, or tarry.
Goodnight and welcom, both at once, to those I
that go, or tarry.
Aga.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Achil.
Old Nestor tarries, and you too Diomed,
Keepe Hector company an houre, or two.
Old Nestor tarries, and you too Diomed,
Keepe Hector company an houre, or two.
Dio.
I cannot Lord, I haue important businesse,
The tide whereof is now, goodnight great Hector.
I cannot Lord, I haue important businesse,
The tide whereof is now, goodnight great Hector.
Hect.
Giue me your hand.
Giue me your hand.
Vlys.
Follow his Torch, he goes to Chalcas Tent,
Ile keepe you company.
Follow his Torch, he goes to Chalcas Tent,
Ile keepe you company.
Troy.
Sweet sir, you honour me.
Sweet sir, you honour me.
Hect.
And so good night.
And so good night.
Achil.
Exeunt.Come, come, enter my Tent.
Exeunt.Come, come, enter my Tent.
Ther.
That same Diomed's a false-hearted Rogue, a
most vniust Knaue; I will no more trust him when hee
leeres, then I will a Serpent when he hisses: he will spend
his mouth & promise, like Brabler the Hound; but when
he performes, Astronomers foretell it, that it is prodigious,
there will come some change: the Sunne borrowes
of the Moone when Diomed keepes his word. I will rather
leaue to see Hector, then not to dogge him: they say,
he keepes a Troyan Drab, and vfes the Traitour Chalcas
his Tent. Ile after——— Nothing but Letcherie? All
Exeuntincontinent Varlets.
That same Diomed's a false-hearted Rogue, a
most vniust Knaue; I will no more trust him when hee
leeres, then I will a Serpent when he hisses: he will spend
his mouth & promise, like Brabler the Hound; but when
he performes, Astronomers foretell it, that it is prodigious,
there will come some change: the Sunne borrowes
of the Moone when Diomed keepes his word. I will rather
leaue to see Hector, then not to dogge him: they say,
he keepes a Troyan Drab, and vfes the Traitour Chalcas
his Tent. Ile after——— Nothing but Letcherie? All
Exeuntincontinent Varlets.
Enter Diomed.
Dio.
What are you vp here ho? speake?
What are you vp here ho? speake?
Chal.
Who cals?
Who cals?
Dio.
Diomed, Chalcas (I thinke) wher's you Daughter?
Diomed, Chalcas (I thinke) wher's you Daughter?
Chal.
She comes to you.
She comes to you.
Enter Troylus and Vlisses.
Vlis.
Stand where the Torch may not discouer vs.
Stand where the Torch may not discouer vs.
Enter Cressid.
Troy.
Cressid comes forth to him.
Cressid comes forth to him.
Dio.
How now my charge?
How now my charge?
Cres.
Now my sweet gardian: harke a word with you.
Now my sweet gardian: harke a word with you.
Troy.
Yea, so familiar?
Yea, so familiar?
Vlis.
She will sing any man at first sight.
She will sing any man at first sight.
Ther.
And any man may finde her, if he can take her
life: she's noted.
And any man may finde her, if he can take her
life: she's noted.
Dio.
Will you remember?
Will you remember?
Cal.
Remember? yes.
Remember? yes.
Dio.
Nay, but doe then; and let your minde be coupled
with your words.
Nay, but doe then; and let your minde be coupled
with your words.
Troy.
What should she remember?
What should she remember?
Vlis.
List?
List?
Cres.
Sweete hony Greek, tempt me no more to folly.
Sweete hony Greek, tempt me no more to folly.
Ther.
Roguery.
Roguery.
Dio.
Nay then.
Nay then.
Cres.
Ile tell you what.
Ile tell you what.
Dio.
Fo, fo, come tell a pin. You are a forsworne.
Fo, fo, come tell a pin. You are a forsworne.
Cres.
In faith I cannot: what would you haue me do?
In faith I cannot: what would you haue me do?
Ther.
A iugling tricke, to be secretly open.
A iugling tricke, to be secretly open.
Dio.
What did you sweare you would bestow on me?
What did you sweare you would bestow on me?
Cres.
I prethee do not hold me to mine oath,
Bid me doe not any thing but that sweete Greeke.
I prethee do not hold me to mine oath,
Bid me doe not any thing but that sweete Greeke.
Dio. Good
