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sometimes Singing, sometimes Whittling, till the House is in an Uproar; some Laugh and Clap; some Hiss and are Angry; Swords are drawn, the Actors interrupted, the Scene broken off, and so the Play's sent to the Devil.
Lucin. A very compendious Method.
Phil. A new Play never wants Enemies. First, All your discontented Poets who have been ill-us'd themselves, are glad of a new Companion; then your Criticks that had not the Reading of the piece before Was given to the House, are sure to Censure severely, to be reveng'd for their neglected Judgments. And lastly, All your drest Beaux, who revenge upon the Innocent Play the injuries they receive from the Crowd, as the ruffling their Crevats, disordering their Perukes, and the Sweat that gets the ascendant of their Essence and Polville.
Lady Dor. A very rational Account. I confess, I have often wonder'd at the ill Success of some Plays.
Ang. Now I think on't, Madam, I have waiting below some Dancers, that I brought hither for your Ladyship's Entertainment; they shall show you a Dance that a Friend of mine has compos'd for his Mistress.
Lucin. How, Sir, compos'd for a Mistress! I have heard of Songs compos'd for a Mistress; but a Dance is extreamly new.
Phil. 'Tis fit, Madam, that some new ways should be invented to engage the Ladies; 'tis dull to tread always in the same path. And nothing is found so prevailing as these mute Accomplishments. Writing, and saying fine things, have given place to the Caper, the Flute, and the Voice.
Lucin. Some Fool, who had no other way of prevailing, was certainly the first that introduc'd those effeminate Accomplishments.
Phil. Right, Madam, and 'twas as necessary, as for those who have ill Smells, to keep, up the fashion of perfumes.———
