[ 16 ]
had as little Feeling as ye have, when he cried out, That is Eyes failed in waiting for God's Salvation: I say then, A Person may have his Sin pardoned, and yet feel no Comfort for the present: Ye must first believe, and then afterwards feel: Ye know that Sense will deceive in judging of Colours or Quantity, how much more in spiritual Things? Believe first, and then pray, and ye shall have Feeling to your Comfort.
Said she, I had my self weary of Prayer, and ready to faint and give over.
Said I, So did David, Psal. lxix. 3. His Eyes failed, and he was weary with crying, and he cried still, Psal. lxix. 6. 13, 16. So do ye.
Said she, I am not only void of Sense and Feeling, but, alas! I am filled with wreathful Fears and Terrors. Said I, So was David, Psal. lxix, 2. The Waters were gone our his Soul: He was almost overwhelmed with Temptations and Fears of God's Displeafure as well as ye: So the afflicted Composers of Psal. lxxvii. and lxxxvii. and cii. Madam, do your Terrors drive you to God, or from him? If from him, let them do so do more, and ye shall have Comfort: If to him, do so still, and ye will get Delivery.
Some Days afterwards, I, coming to her, asked her how she was? Said she, Never in such a Case; for the more I would have him, the further he goes from me; it is very like to be an utter Desertion. Then I, not knowing what to say, privately put up my Ejaculation to my Lord, That he would give me what to answer her; and, as his Spirit moved me, I said, Courage, Courage, Madam, Is it so, that ye perceive a greater Fremmedness and Estrangement between God and you than ever you did before? Happy are you, you will get the Thing ye are seeking: There is never greater Darkness, than immediately before Day break, never greater Rage in the Sea, than immediately before a Calm: So there is never greater Distance, Fremmedness and apparent Absence from a Soul, than immediately before the Enjoyment of his Presence: I hope to fee a fair quiet Morning, notwithstanding of this dark tempestuous Night. Said she, All this is but Daffing; for this Night I have beentempted
