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contentment, tho' some Folk in the World do think that they are yoked to a Bondage, when they are engaged unto Godliness, and that they will never get leave to be merry again but they are hugely deceived, and for mistaken; For there is more true Joy and Peace even under the sad and dejected Countenance of the Godly, nor the Wicked have in their greatest Prosperity: I now see that God never wholly nor totally casts off such as he doth once take by the Hand; or, if he seemeth to call them off, it is only in their own Apprehension, and for the Tryal of their Grace, and in the same Instant of Time, hit Hand it under their Head to uphold and support them, tho' they do not perceive it. God will have me to confess to his Glory, that the Devil and I were but Liars, in believing that the Freedom in Prayer I once had, was but false Conceptions of Joy: It was not so, it was real Access to God, and my joys were true Joys, and merciful Blinks, which came to my Soul from a loving Lord: I confess also to my own Shame, and to the Glory of God, that both Satan and I were but Liars, in thinking that God's Children cannot die of the Plague.
The next Day after this, I found myself mightily distempered with a Lightness in my Head, and a feverish Heat in my Body, and, coming to the Lady, I said, I observe my Lord's Goodness to you, Madam, that it hath pleased him to spare me just till the Time of your Delivery from Soul-trouble; he has wrought strangely by me a weak Instrument, and a brittle Reed: all the Glory be to him, I will have none of it. What fay ye to me? For I am not able to bide longer from Bed, my discomposing Pain is so great. Said she, The Blessing of the Lord be on you, and a double Portion of his Spirit on you: Lord, increase his Grace in you, and make me an Instrument of Comfort to you as ye have been to me.
Said I, being recovered of my distempering Pain, after a little whiles retiring from her, Madam, seeing we will not all meet again in this world, till we meet in the Kingdom of Heaven, tell me what ye have to say, that I may communicate it to your Friends, if the Lord shall spare me for returning
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