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this respect I think Death might be desired, with Submission. But (said I) Madam, Why are ye so cast down in your Countenance? Where is your striving for Christ ye had a few Days past? Said she, Mr. Archibald, Alas! there is a great Difference between Market-days; then I had in some Measure my Lord's Presence, and the Sense of his Love, but now he has left me and is gone. How then can I not be discouraged, seeing I want his Presence, which only can comfort a poor Soul who once has had it? How can I rejoice or be content till he return, in whose Presence is Fullness of Joy, and at his right Hand Pleasures for evermore? Said I, Madam, as your Lord's Love has many comfortable Properties attributed to it, being a free, fresh, matchless Love; so it is a Property of no small Comfort to you, that your Lord's Love is a constant Love; he never wholly casts off those whom he once takes by the Hand; tho' he may for a Time draw a Vail betwixt him and us, to try our Love to him, as an affectionate Mother hides herself from her Child to make him the more brouden on her; so your Lord will come skipping ever the Mountains, leaping over the Hills; nothing shall hinder him from you; tho' your Sins were as hard Rocks, and as high as Mountains in his Way, yet neither the Hardness of the one, nor the Height of the other shall keep him from you; he would as fain be at you, as ye would be at him, and fainer too; take Courage, He that shall come, will come, and will not tarry.
Said she, A second Thing troubles me, I am deceived in my Access to God; for before Mary’s Death, I beg’d her Life, and finding such Access and Freedom in seeking it, I held it as granted, that Christ had given me my Suit: But seeing the contrary follows, have I not Cause to be discouraged? I being then deceived of this Freedom, it makes me think I am but a Hypocrite, and that the Freedom I had at other Times has been only false Conceptions of Joy. Then presently I apprehending her to be in Trouble of Mind, and not daring to answer her till I had fought Wisdom and Strength from my Lord, and
