not see! I knew it was a stupid, morbid business, that I was more maimed than they were, really, that the war had blown my heart and insides out! And I knew too that I was torturing these tortured men, morbidly super-sensitive already, that they loathed the cruel mockery of my gift! Yet I kept on, from one to one, like a stupid, driven animal until one night not long ago I had a dream of Gordon diving down out of the sky in flames and he looked at me with such sad burning eyes, and all my poor maimed men, too, seemed staring out of his eyes with a burning pain, and I woke up crying, my own eyes burning. Then I saw what a fool I’d been—a guilty fool! So be kind and punish me!
Marsden
[Thinking with bitter confusion]
I wish she hadn’t told me this . . . it has upset me terribly! . . . I positively must run home at once . . . Mother is waiting up . . . oh, how I’d love to hate this little whore! . . . then I could punish! . . . I wish her father were alive . . . “now he’s dead there’s only you,” she said . . . “I’ve wanted you,” . . .
[With intense bitterness]
Dear old Father Charlie now! . . . ha! . . . that’s how she wants me! . . .
[Then suddenly in a matter-of-fact tone that is mockingly like her father’s]
Then, under the circumstances, having weighed the pros and cons, so to speak, I should say that decidedly the most desirable course—
Nina
[Drowsily—her eyes shut]
You sound so like Father, Charlie.
