Page:The Autobiography of Maharshi Devendranath Tagore.djvu/28

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seen for an instant "that Vision which is of all things most desired," and nothing less can ever again content them. "I longed," says Devendranath, "for a repetition of that ecstatic feeling. I lost all interest in everything else." Yet the ecstatic feeling ever eluded him ; the " first fine careless rapture" had done its work, and could not be recaptured by any effort of the will. That terrible process of detachment, which forms the first stage in the mystical way of purgation, was now in process of accomplishment ; that eradication of all self-interest, even of the most spiritual kind, all tendency to rest in supersensual joys ; that dreadful isolation of the soul in the midst of a world which has now become unreal to it. It is the rhythm of detachment, says Kabir, which beats time to the music of love. These are the compensating movements of a process which is one ; and this neophyte, like his predecessors, was obliged to endure its pain as well as its joy. " Darkness was all around me. The temptations of the world had ceased, but the sense of God was no nearer : earthly and heavenly happiness were alike withdrawn."

"By love," says a great English contemplative, "He may be gotten and holden, by thought never." But every active mind entering on the quest of God must make this discovery for itself. So here we see the Maharshi, like so many of his spiritual ancestors, first trying to find the one object of his desire by intellectual means, and suffering anew from the