THE PAPERS
"I don't 'want' you to do anything, but I'm ready to help you, ready to get it in for you, like a shot, myself, if it's a thing you yourself want."
"A thing I want—to give you away?"
"Oh," he laughed, "I'm just now worth giving! You'd really do it, you know. And, to help you, here I am. It would be for you—only judge!—a leg up."
It would indeed, she really saw; somehow, on the spot, she believed it. But his surrender made her tremble. It wasn't a joke—she could give him away; or rather she could sell him for money. Money, thus, was what he offered her, or the value of money, which was the same; it was what he wanted her to have. She was conscious already, however, that she could have it only as he offered it, and she said therefore, but halfheartedly, "I'll keep your secret."
He looked at her more gravely. "Ah, as a secret I can't give it." Then he hesitated. "I'll get you a hundred pounds for it."
"Why don't you," she asked, "get them for yourself?"
"Because I don't care for myself. I care only for you."
She waited again. "You mean for my taking you?" And then as he but looked at her: "How should I take you if I had dealt with you that way?"
"What do I lose by it," he said, "if, by our understanding of the other day, since things have so turned out, you're not to take me at all? So, at least, on my proposal, you get something else."
"And what," Maud returned, "do you get?"
"I don't 'get'; I lose. I have lost. So I don't matter." The eyes with which she covered him at this might have signified either that he didn't satisfy her or that his last word—as his word—rather imposed itself. Whether or no, at all events, she decided that he still did matter. She presently moved again, and
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