ones I ever took. The weather was very fine. These good women took upon themselves all the care and expense. Theresa amused herself with them; and I, free from all domestic concerns, diverted myself, without restraint, at the hours of dinner and supper. All the rest of the day wandering in the forest, I sought for and found there the image of the primitive ages of which I boldly traced the history. I confounded the pitiful lies of men; I dared to unveil their nature; to follow the progress of time, and the things by which it has been disfigured; and comparing the man of art with the natural man, to show them, in their pretended improvement, the real source of all their misery. My mind, elevated by these contemplations, ascended to the Divinity, and thence, seeing my fellow creatures follow in the blind track of their prejudices that of their errors and misfortunes, I cried out to them, in a feeble voice, which they could not hear: "Madmen! know that all your evils proceed from yourselves!"
From these meditations resulted the discourse on Inequality, a work more to the taste of Diderot than any of my other writings, and in which his advice was of the greatest service to me.
- [At the time I wrote this, I had not the least suspicion of the
- grand conspiracy of Diderot and Grimm. otherwise I should easily.
- have discovered how much the former abused my confidence, by giving
- to my writings that severity and melancholy which were not to be
- found in them from the moments he ceased to direct me. The passage
- of the philosopher, who argues with himself, and stops his ears
- against the complaints of a man in distress, is after his manner:
- and he gave me others still more extraordinary; which I could never
- resolve to make use of. But, attributing, this melancholy to that
- he had acquired in the dungeon of Vincennes, and of which there is a
- very sufficient dose in his Clairoal, I never once suspected the
- least unfriendly dealing. ]
It was, however, understood but by few readers, and not one of these would ever speak of it. I had written it to become a competitor for the premium, and sent it away fully persuaded it would not obtain it; well convinced it was not for productions of this nature that academies were founded.
This excursion and this occupation enlivened my spirits and was of service to my health. Several years before, tormented by my disorder, I had entirely given myself up to the care of physicians, who, without alleviating my sufferings, exhausted my strength and destroyed my constitution. At my return from St. Germain, I found myself stronger and perceived my health to be improved. I followed this indication, and determined to cure myself or die without the aid of physicians and medicine. I bade them forever a
