Page:The Deipnosophists (Volume 2).djvu/183

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COOKS. the leg,"—and, "I have travelled over Asia and Europe:" and when they are finding fault with any one they say, "It is impossible to make a Peleus out of an Œneus."—And I once marvelled at one of the old cooks, after I had enjoyed his skill and the specimens of his art which he had invented. And Alexis, in his Caldron, introduces one speaking in the following manner—

A. He boil'd, it seem'd to me, some pork, from off
     A pig who died by suffocation.
B. That's nice.
                  A. And then he scorch'd it at the fire.
B. Never mind that; that can be remedied.
A. How so?
             B. Take some cold vinegar, and pour it
     Into a plate. Dost heed me? Then take up
     The dish while hot and put it in the vinegar;
     For while 'tis hot 'twill draw the moisture up
     Through its material, which is porous all;
     And so fermenting, like a pumice-stone,
     'Twill open all its spongy passages,
     Through which it will imbibe new moisture thoroughly.
     And so the meat will cease to seem dried up,
     But will be moist and succulent again.
A. O Phœbus, what a great physician's here!
     O Glaucias!—I will do all you tell me.
B. And serve them, when you do serve them up,
     (Dost mark me?) cold; for so no smell too strong
     Will strike the nostrils; but rise high above them.
A. It seems to me you're fitter to write books
     Than to cook dinners; since you quibble much
     In all your speeches, jesting on your art.

31. And now we have had enough of cooks, my feasters; lest perhaps some one of them, pluming himself and quoting the Morose Man of Menander, may spout such lines as these—

No one who does a cook an injury
Ever escapes unpunish'd; for our art
Is a divine and noble one.

But I say to you, in the words of the tuneful Diphilus—

I place before you now a lamb entire,
Well skewer'd, and well cook'd and season'd;
Some porkers in their skins, and roasted whole;
And a fine goose stuff'd full, like Dureus.

32. We must now speak of the goose. For as many geese were served up very excellently dressed, some one said, Look at the fat geese ([Greek: siteutoi chênes]). And Ulpian said, Where do you ever find the expression [Greek: siteutos chên]? And Plutarch