any one I ever knew. It probably is not love—not yet. But it is certainly something that is very close to love and might very well turn into it in time. The last few days, whenever you spoke of leaving, I actually had the strangest feeling in my heart. And this evening when you kissed my hand, that was quite lovely. But then, when you rode away into the darkness, I had a feeling all at once as though it were all over, and I was actually afraid that you were never coming to visit us again. Well, that, of course, is already over now. That is just the sort of thing one thinks at night-time, isn't it? I know that you are coming again. To-morrow evening. And of course I know that you are just as fond of me as I am of you. One does not really have to say that kind of thing in words.
"But sometimes it has seemed to me that you suffer from a lack of confidence in yourself. Isn't that so? And I have been thinking what the reason may be. I think the reason is that you have not yet taken root anywhere and that all your life you have really not yet taken the time to wait for someone to attach herself to you, heart and hand. Yes, I should think that is it. And perhaps there is something else besides that makes you hesitate. Of course it is pretty hard for me to write you that. But so long as I have once started, I cannot very well stop half way, can 1? Well, then, you know, my dear friend, that I was once engaged. That was four years ago. He was a doctor, like you. I suppose my father gave you certain intimations. I loved him very much, and it was a great sorrow to me when I lost him. He was so young! Only twenty-eight! I thought at the time that everything was over for ever; one is inclined to think that sort of thing at such a time. As a matter of fact, in order to be perfectly truthful I must confess that that was not my first love-affair. Before that there had been a singer with whom I was infatuated. That was at a time when, with the very best intentions, my father wanted to drive me into a career which I simply was not born to. And that was really the most passionate emotion that I have ever experienced. To be sure, one cannot really say 'experienced.' But surely—'felt.' And it ended in a perfectly silly way. You see, he thought he was dealing with a creature of the kind he was accustomed to meet in his own circle, and he behaved accordingly, and—well, that was the end of it. But the curious thing is that to this very day I think much more often of that man than of my fiancé who was so dear to me. For six months we were engaged. There—
