Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 01.pdf/321

They stubbed their toes in his tomatoes,
Disturbed his pease, tossed beans around;
They disinterred his new potatoes,
And deep cucumbered all the ground;
His succulent and tender squashes
They squashed with coarse, unfeeling boots,
And with their clumsy, huge galoches
They trampled all his savory roots.
They caught the car, and Guille delivered,
Almost defunct and deadly pale;
But Swan's poor garden-patch was shivered
Like Eden by the serpent's trail.
The plaintiff for this strange infraction
Demanded—which Guille disallowed—
Some fifteen dollars for Guille's action
And seventy dollars for the crowd.
Guille pleaded an aversion rooted
To paying such a bill for roots,
And claimed that Swan should be nonsuited
For joining inconsistent suits.
The judges held the consequences
Might naturally have been inferred,
Should it appear the evidence is
That no request had been preferred;
It was as if he'd sharply beckoned
Unto that curious, gaping throng,
Although of course he had not reckoned
On such a vegetable wrong;
But here there was an invitation
Expressly given to the crowd
By Guille, when in his desperation
He shrieked for succor, long and loud.
So Guille departed sore in feeling,
Forced to "come down" he was once more;
And ne'er again was seen revealing
His favorite tendency to soar.
For parachutes the courts care little,
Balloonatics no rights enjoy;
But they will not abate a tittle
'Gainst those who garden-shoots destroy.